Hi Oskari,

I’m sorry you are having to go through this, I know how terrible you must feel. I am also working through a devastating breakup from a very serious relationship that lasted 9 years. I have never been so down in my life, like you said, it’s as though you’ve lost everything. It’s the worst feeling in the world when we are betrayed by someone we love, someone who we thought cared about us more. I know that right now nothing seems right, but please don’t give up on yourself. I think everyone who has responded to your story has provided very thoughtful and important advice. What has been most damaging for me is constantly rehashing the past (what could’ve been, what I should’ve done differently) and obsessing over what he is thinking, feeling, doing, etc. Try to practice acceptance, allow yourself to grieve, cry, feel without judgement, and know that what she says, thinks, does has no power over you and that you can move on from this. Make loving yourself and caring for yourself a priority. After giving my love and care to someone else for so long, this is what I struggle with the most. It takes a lot of work but we are more strong and resilient than we know, believe in yourself!

There are so many great articles and stories on this site that are incredibly helpful. I try to read one every day and I always feel better, even if only for 5 minutes. Here are a few of my favorites that may be worth looking into, if you haven’t already:

Dealing with a Break Up and Learning from the Experience

How to Love Your Authentic Self

10 Tips to Help Relieve Depression and Heartache

I wish you the very best, take care of yourself, and stay strong! You are worth it!

~ Ingrid