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Hello, Tiny Buddha Community,
Jenn, this is a very good question, and I know each of us will have our own answer.
I think regrets are natural and good. They bring with them opportunities to reflect upon our choices, change our minds, and perhaps even decide to choose differently the next time, for the betterment of ourselves and others. Regrets help us to learn, change, and grow. And that is good.
I think many people get stuck in the muck of regret, even wallow in it, right along with shame, guilt, and anger toward themselves, without experiencing regret’s true purpose. Regret, like remorse, is viewed as a negative emotion when it can bring with it such positive changes.
Regret, in its natural and good form, prompts us to think about our choices, acknowledge and own our misgivings, take personal responsibility for our words and actions, choose to improve our choices, and make amends to ourselves and others. Regret helps us to evolve into beings better than we were before. And that’s good.
A while ago, I wrote a post about regret at my blog. What I know is that emotions are here to serve us – and I allow them to. Whenever I feel regretful, I purposefully allow regret to serve its purpose, to improve me, my life, and the lives of those around me.
- Regret fully, even when it’s profoundly painful
- Learn well, even when the growing pains are excruciating
- Resolve and make amends, even when the other person rejects them
- Grow and move on, especially when this means forgiving yourself
It’s powerfully good, regret. Allow it to be.
Smiles!
Midge