sounds so much like me! maybe you are trying to hold on to the great feelings he gives you because it fills a hole inside. Mine use to (still does) say that I’m not good enough, I have to hold on to this thing/person to feel like i’m worthy, it’s that feeling of being attached to something and you have to have it or your world will be crushed even if that person is good/bad/don’t know them very well. I think your mind sometimes creates illusions and you dream up all the things that will make you happy if you just get them, I think when theres emptiness inside people attach themselves to things & those things like love, drugs, alcohol, smoking, partying etc they dive into what makes them feel good to temporarily fill that empty space. I know that’s pretty deep! lol but I think that could be the reality of the situation unless it is really love at first sight ;).

When something makes you feel good you want as much of it as you can get, in my opinion things get obsessive when you are trying to cover up pain, or when you are trying to prove yourself to people because deep down you feel like your not worth it and you need to feel accepted & validated.. it would be a good idea to just chat to someone like a therapist to explore it deeper because I know from experience with guys and dating that it can be really frustrating and for me it just got worse until I explored the issue and if I was dating now I would still be struggling

hope ive made sense and something here helps you 🙂

good luck x