Hi GlassSpirit,
I relate to your post. My children have coped with my divorce in different ways. My son already had a therapist, so that was a very good thing in place already. My daughter however, powered through it like she usually does with things. She has a very driven personality. It is only now, 5 years later, that I see some effects it’s had on her. I always offer to help her get support outside of me, when she is having a tough time. So far she has declined. I ‘ve decided to trust she will get more out of it when she is ready. I focus on my own healing, believing that my modeling is a powerful help to my children. I strongly feel that when your daughter cries over things, she is releasing pain from all the losses she has had in life. I find it a hopeful good sign she can do this regularly! Trust she is healing every time she grieves, even it if isnt directly related to talking about the divorce. Children go through a profound loss, as do we, with divorce. I try to remember that for myself, and my kids.

Hugs, to you and you daughter, Lily