Hi, I have actually been in a very similar situation myself. In my relationship for more than 4 years, first 2 years I have behaved similar to your girlfreind and now in the next 2 years my ex-boyfreind is behaving similar to her so i can give you opinion from both persecptives.

1. you are afraid of confrontation and hurting her feelings (which is awesome) but because of that you havent been able to tell her and show her how much shes hurting you and how you feel. TELL HER. sometimes people dont realize these things. when they do, they change. by not telling her, you’re robbing her of the opportunity of rectifyin her mistakes. you’re just growing resentment inside of you and she probably isnt even aware shes hurting you so much! if you can’t say it write an email. BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. its your only hope to salvage whats left of this.

2. im currently dealing with an alcoholic, abusive and infidel relationship, which you have also commented on post about. what helped me was taking 5 mins to imagine what my life would be like if we did get married and spend the rest of our lives together. JUST IMAGINE. if you do, you cant escape each other for weeks. will she break all contact with the other guy? will she keep thinking about him or how her life could be with him? will she be there for you? how will she behave with your parents? will she continue to abuse you? will she leave you and go if another job comes up somewhere else? after imagining what life would be like with her, think – IS THIS THE KIND OF LIFE YOU WANT AND DESERVE?