You know I went to this wonderful Church this morning, I had a very solemn and beautiful mass it touched my soul. I stayed there for hours and wish I can simply stay there. After the mass, there was this healing, like the anointing of the sick and it was my first time so I was very touched when the lay minister prayed for me while putting some oil in my forehead and palm. I felt so at peace… I don’t want to blame anyone and at this point in my life, I just want to be at peace and be happy again. I surrendered everything to God now and whatever happens, I know He will be with me every step of the way. It won’t be easy I know… I don’t even know what will happen to me in the future, but for now, I just don’t want to hurt anymore… I don’t want to beg, I deserve more than that! I simply want to exist so I can still love and be with my family, my friends and whoever needs my help. I still want to think I’m blessed coz there are way too many people who are going through so much pain and sickness… I just realized, if he gives up on me now, then it’s better to end it. I cannot stay with someone who cannot even fight for me. The homily this morning was “Be patient, learn to wait”… so that’s what I’m going to do. I love him so much but he should also realize that it works both ways….