Hope this help’s you…took me a long time to type 🙂

Jacob, 23
I’m going through something similar as to what you are right now. It just comes in different waves, but it all leads to total destruction.
I eventually just had enough of everything and couldn’t take anymore of this hell. No friends, No family around, No hobbies,
No skills, just alcohol drugs, depression, and delusions.

-I moved to start completely over and clear my head, bad habits, and other things I picked up-

I don’t know what you are going through, but it sounds like you have so many negative thoughts in your head and memories that
you just can’t get away from. I’ve found it so hard for me to want to change in the same place I’ve been messing up the whole
time. Sometimes it’s not bad to just leave and not look back and start over. A new scenery was the best thing i’I’ve ever done.
Just know that in your heart you can get through all this mess and go on to be a better open minded person. Learn to except and
RESPECT yourself. Or no one else will. Your past is your past. Some people just need someone to tell them to quite being a
B***h about it and move on. Your future will out weigh your past and you can write it however you want. Surround yourself with
only positive things, people, even the photos and music you look and listen to. They all affect you in someway.

Here are some things that have helped me get back on track. I only wish you the best and hope that some of my ideas may help
you or some other reader with having a happier life.

=Goal===Clear the mind, Clean the body, Set up a healthy lifestyle, Win=

I complete stopped drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.
Start standing up straighter with your head higher
Started a fitness plan and EXTREMELY healthy diet(organic). and began eating like a monster.
Starting taking bioplasm cell salts, chorella, mens 1 a day, and Argentine. Lots of water!
Meditation. Started researching the third eye awakening, and taking steps on cleaning out system.
Deleted all my photos and numbers out of my phone except family.
Ive been saving only inspirational photos on my phone. Example would be amazing sites of earth and nature.
Made a music playlist of only instrumental music for mediation and concentration.
Started a new hobby the I never thought I would do..and I love it. Snowboarding
A good sprint in the morning to a short walk no matter the weather nature throws at me. Followed by stretches
Extreme Dedication
Stop watching TV. Only adds more useless fog and crap to your brain! Spectating is not a sport!
Martial Arts
Breathing exercises
I try and never pass up a good deed. Helping an old lady cross the street, picking up trash on the ground etc.
I search for positive things on Google and YouTube like, people are awesome, talents, healthy foods etc.
Etc..
Do anything that is good for your heart and your brain. Your body loves you so much, why trash it?

(Just as a side note, after only a month of all this. There was a day i was eating and I felt a happy high and my brain felt warm)

Remember…Actions Speak Louder Then Words!!! I am always open to share my advice 🙂