Hi J, I know how you’re feeling. I have OCD as well and have issues with anxiety.

My first recommendation is to get into meditation. This is not an overnight miracle, but it is a miracle. My lifesaver was the short and sweet “guided meditations for busy people” by Bodhipaksa, you can Google and download them. I honestly did them for about a year, roughly three times a week before they started their magic, but they did. Mediation has helped me gain control of my thoughts and to stop the negative spiral.

I am feeling the job hate, I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while. I read a quote recently which said “if its not good, let it go. If it can’t go, make it good”. If you are stuck in your shitty job, consciously try to acknowledge this for what it is but don’t let it consume you. In life there will often be an area lacking that we cannot control, if we can try to accept or even embrace these imperfections it can minimise the impact they have on the other good parts (like your supportive boyfriend).

The past two years I have also tried to introduce more good, so my good to bad ratio gets better! Is there something you enjoy that you haven’t done lately? Can you seek out a new hobby, or activity or anything that can bring you joy? For me its a bit of yoga (and I tried heaps of yoga studios and teachers until I found my yoga soulmate). Yoga days, Wednesdays, are now a good day, even at my shitty job, because I have something to look forward to. I also try to play guitar at home and walk my dog, but I find the yoga (because its a scheduled thing I do each week in a social setting) provides great benefit. I also go alone and have forced myself to meet new people there. This is a chance to not be the ‘sad’ me my friends and family see, but to just try and be normal and upbeat and kind of fake it until I make it. No one there knows my past or my struggles, and that can be a very powerful environment to be in when going through a hard time.

I hope this helps.