Thank you to both of you for your hugs and for trying.

I have decided that I am going to move away to another country to live with some family for a month. Where they live, life is very different than here in America. It is comforting to know that people have experienced my fears and disappointment in their own lives, and I genuinely appreciate that you two would share something like that with me.

I don’t know what I want or what to ask to find the answer that to the unfulfilled part of my life. What I do know is that I don’t want the feelings associated with this lifestyle. I want to know what am I doing wrong that makes me different from everyone else who seems to be able to press on. I understand that their lives have numerous hardships, but they keep on pressing on. Why can’t I do that. If I get depressed, I just stop moving forward for days maybe months at a time. I want to live life.

I want to know the reason why I am unhappy. What is it that I missing from my equation that is causing my life to equal recurrent and crippling hopelessness and despair.

I am not saying I want an answer because these questions aren’t very simple in nature, but any response will do.