Ugh that’s exactly how I feel! I would be able to move on much faster if my ex has always been an asshole but he’s not. A lot of people looked up to my ex because he was seen as very mature and wise for his age (he’s only 20) and he’s a really hard-working guy. I went to him for EVERYTHING; when I’m nervous, happy, upset, excited. It really sucks that as much of a good guy that he is (well WAS to me), he doesn’t want to be with me, which makes me feel like I’m a bad person. But that’s not true, and it isn’t either for you!

That doesn’t make us any less than good enough. It just means we’re not compatible with that person. We may think we are, but if in their eyes we aren’t, then we can’t force it.

I know exaaaactly how you feel. I have a family that I know loves me unconditionally, but I don’t get the same feeling talking to them about everything like I did with my ex. I’ve always been a loner until this summer when I start socializing with people, but I still don’t have any close friends yet. So basically without him, I feel like I have no one to talk to. It really sucks to feel like you’re alone, but would you really prefer to pine after him knowing that he doesn’t want you? Wouldn’t that make you feel even worse and lonelier? All I can really say to that is to learn to be independent to a point where you don’t need someone to share every detail of your life with. Sometimes it’s better to know how to rely on yourself to deal with those emotions alone.

What did he say when you made the announcement? And it’s okay to be sad Cass. It’s very normal to be feeling this way, but just know that eventually it will go away.

To answer your question, I’m not really sure how you can break the cycle without losing him. I feel that it’s either one or the other, you can’t have both, especially when you have so many feelings for him. If he’s a true friend, he’ll understand and still be there for you when you’re ready to be friends again (with no feelings towards him).

• This reply was modified 11 years, 5 months ago by Leina.