I know I’ve got myself stuck firmly in the victim role; now only because I can’t find a different perspective that makes any sense.

On reading your idea that resentment is anger at oneself if one looks for the actual cause my first thought (for a change) wasn’t “here’s where your argument falls apart.” Rather it was, with a pathetic whine I am loathe to admit to, “but I can’t find it!”

I can’t resent my parents: it wasn’t their fault. Taking logic backwards – if not them, who? – one arrives at…. Insert your vision of the beginning.

Any suggestions on what the underlying anger at myself – as yours, in the example, was failure to set limits – might be?

Throw out lots of ideas please, one and all: I’m looking for an “A-Ha!!!” moment.