Hey Eleanor,

I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve experienced and I admire your bravery in speaking out about this. I made a very difficult decision to stop contact with certain family members a few years ago after recognising the terrible impact those relationships were having on my life. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but the more time that goes by, the more I recognised it was one of the kindest and healthiest things I ever did for myself. I still get unwanted contact from the people concerned, which isn’t a pleasant experience, but my life has completely turned around. Of course, I don’t know anything about your situation, so I’m only speaking from my experience, however I think it’s possible for any relationship to pass that point of no return, whether you share the same DNA or not.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced concerns other people’s reactions. Like you said, estrangement from family members is still a taboo topic in our society, and I think it can be very challenging to people’s beliefs around their own family relationships, and provoke their defences, when you say you made the decision to walk away. Having said that, the right people have been incredibly supportive.

I really wish you all the best with your decision, and I hope you’ll do whatever you feel is right for you.

x