Hannah Braime is a coach and writer who believes the world is a richer place when we have the courage to be fully self-expressed. She shares practical psychology-based articles, tools and resources on living a full and meaningful life over at Becoming Who You Are. Get free access to workbooks, audios and much more when you join the community.
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April 8, 2013 at 5:34 pm #32000
Thanks for the replies everyone!
@Lori – Wow, that sounds amazing! Paris and Rome are both beautiful. I hope you have a fantastic time 🙂
@Tyler – Thanks for the links, I look forward to checking them out.
@Kate – Thanks for the link to your friends’ blog. I admire their bravery and will definitely take a look at their site.
@Sheila – How would you feel about doing that with your kids? I don’t have kids myself so I’m not sure if it’s practical or something you’d want to do, but I’ve read about other people doing it as a family.April 3, 2013 at 11:31 am #30266
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I agree that changing the boundaries of the relationship can provide that distance that helps you focus on yourself and take care of your own needs. It definitely doesn’t have to be the ‘all or nothing’ approach, and it’s important to keep the door open if you think there’s potential for the relationship to change in the future.
I’m really glad to hear things improved for you 🙂April 3, 2013 at 10:17 am #30223
That sounds like an incredible epiphany. I agree that trying to seek approval from someone who won’t give it to you is the same as seeking rejection; it’s definitely something I’ve experienced in the past too. It can be really difficult to let go of the myths we have around certain relationships and what we want them to be vs. the reality of what they actually are, but it’s so liberating.April 3, 2013 at 10:06 am #30212
I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve experienced and I admire your bravery in speaking out about this. I made a very difficult decision to stop contact with certain family members a few years ago after recognising the terrible impact those relationships were having on my life. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but the more time that goes by, the more I recognised it was one of the kindest and healthiest things I ever did for myself. I still get unwanted contact from the people concerned, which isn’t a pleasant experience, but my life has completely turned around. Of course, I don’t know anything about your situation, so I’m only speaking from my experience, however I think it’s possible for any relationship to pass that point of no return, whether you share the same DNA or not.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced concerns other people’s reactions. Like you said, estrangement from family members is still a taboo topic in our society, and I think it can be very challenging to people’s beliefs around their own family relationships, and provoke their defences, when you say you made the decision to walk away. Having said that, the right people have been incredibly supportive.
I really wish you all the best with your decision, and I hope you’ll do whatever you feel is right for you.