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Posts tagged with “boyfriend”

He Broke My Heart But Taught Me These 5 Things About Love

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“Sometimes the only closure you need is the understanding that you deserve better.” ~Trent Shelton 

I’ll never forget the day we met.

It was a classic San Francisco day. The sky was a perfect cerulean blue. The sun sparkled brightly.

I ventured from my apartment in the Haight to Duboce Park to enjoy the Saturday. Dogs chased balls in the dog park. Friends congregated on the little hill. They giggled, listened to music, and ate picnic food. Kites flew high in the breeze. Adults tossed Frisbees in their t-shirts and bare feet.

And I sat, bundled up in my scarf, …

When We Hold onto Relationships That Hurt Us

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“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown

Human beings are genetically programmed to desire love. Embraces are as important to us as food and water.

Perhaps that’s why when we find someone—the wrong someone—we’re often too blind to see it.

We feel it and yet we hide it away, write it off as an odd case of commitment phobia or just a hiccup in our new relationship, oblivious to the fact that were heading into a future of sleepless nights, constant worrying, and consistent phone checking.…

7 Reasons Your Breakup Is A Beautiful Thing

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“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” ~Ritu Ghatourey

After many years of being the “dumper” in the relationship, I then spent many years being the “dumpee.”

Even after I had worked through all of that karma that I had instilled upon myself, when it came time for my last breakup, it was finally a mutual decision. Still, it left me feeling lost and incomplete.

I had never felt happier with any other man, and at the same time, I knew I deserved better. We both loved each other so much, but we found ourselves growing apart.…

Encourage, Don’t Criticize; Help Instead of Trying to Fix

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“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hahn

When you think you’re an evolved and conscious woman and your partner tells you in no unclear terms that you’re “hard to be with,” it does a number on you.

Those words landed like a well-aimed boulder, smashing the immaculate vision I’d created of evolving myself: an exemplary girlfriend who was “doing the work” to grow, to become generously loving, spiritually awake, and to wholeheartedly support and encourage her beautiful partner to open to his fullest potential.

We met under messy circumstances. Both …

How to Maintain a Happy Relationship: The Desired Things of Love

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“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown.

Desiderata is Latin for “desired things.” The original and famous Desiderata poem, penned in the 1920s by Max Ehrmann, gives general advice on living well.

It begins, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence,” and ends, “Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

The overwhelming message of Desiderata is to be kind and honest, and to keep faith in all our business and personal affairs. When it comes to love, it counsels us not to grow cynical, …

30 Questions to Ask Yourself If You Have Doubts About Your Relationship

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

When I was in college, I could only afford to visit my family during summer and Christmas breaks. While I was at home, I particularly enjoyed spending time with one dear friend. We had known each other since junior high school, and I considered her the younger sister I never had.

During my sophomore year in school, she contacted me and revealed she had romantic feelings for me. She wanted us to start dating.

I was completely caught off guard. I …

Why Relationships Fail: 4 Tips to Make Love Last

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“Happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors.” ~Dalai Lama

If you get married today, there is a 60% chance that your relationship won’t last. Is finding true love really that hard or is there something else going on?

A research group from the Heriot-Watt University found that many people have a “warped sense of the perfect relationship” and “unrealistic expectations from their romantic partner.” They concluded that they got these unrealistic expectations from Hollywood love stories.

These movies have us longing for a Cinderella or Prince Charming who will sweep us off our …

10 Ways to Love the People in Your Life

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“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield

We all grow up with some healthy stories about love and some unhealthy ones. I learned some beautiful, life-giving ideas about love, ideas like these:

  • Loving people means believing in their potential.
  • Love means treating people with kindness and gentleness.
  • Loving the people in your life means celebrating their successes and cheering them on.

But I also grew up with some stories about love that I came to see weren’t so helpful. Those ideas about love bred problems in my …