Posts tagged with “Pain”

Life After Abuse: A Story of Hope and Healing

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of domestic violence and may be triggering to some.

Growing up, I learned early on how to be aware of the little things that spoke volumes. My mom wasn’t just an alcoholic; she was also bipolar, and I never knew if I’d come home to a mom who was cheerful and loving or to one who would say hurtful things and obsess over cleaning.

I grew up in AA, surrounded by people trying to rebuild their lives. My parents were both recovering alcoholics, and while I didn’t fully understand it at …

How to Reclaim Your Power After Being Denigrated or Disrespected

By Leza Danly

“As they become known to and accepted by us, our feelings and the honest exploration of them become sanctuaries and spawning grounds for the most radical and daring of ideas.” ~Audre Lorde

The high-speed train barreled through the Japanese countryside. Craning my neck to take in the scenery, excitement fluttered in my tummy. I was twenty-eight years old and living my dream of being a professional singer.

My duo partner, Caroline, and I had just completed a month onstage at the Intercontinental Hotel in Manila, Philippines. A twenty-piece orchestra backed our forty-five-minute show, an entertaining mix of Motown hits, 80s …

When Love Isn’t Enough: The Lessons I Learned from my Breakup

By Sarah Curnoles

“This is not where your story ends. It’s simply where it takes a turn you didn’t expect.” ~Cheryl Strayed

He had the courage to say what I couldn’t.

“It’s not working anymore.”

It didn’t make any sense that we were breaking up. We loved each other so much. We had been talking about getting engaged. Our couples therapy was moving in a positive direction, even when it was really challenging.

When he said those words, I knew I wasn’t going to argue with him. As much as we loved each other, we had taken the relationship as far as …

How to Work Mindfully with Pain and Illness

By Sarah Jester

“Can I sit with suffering, both yours and mine, without trying to make it go away? Can I stay present to the ache of loss or disgrace—disappointment in all its many forms—and let it open me? This is the trick.” ~Pema Chödrön

At forty-seven years of age, I have experienced chronic illness in some form since my mid-to-late twenties. This past year, I’ve also encountered chronic pain on a level I have never experienced before. Part of that is illness-related, and part of it is simply my body getting older, coupled with the effects of repetitive motions from sitting and …

How to Embrace Elective (not Mandatory) Forgiveness After Trauma

By Amanda Ann Gregory

Do I need to forgive my abusive mother to let go of the past?

This is the question I found myself grappling with when I started to recover from the pain of childhood neglect. For most of my childhood, I did not have access to a consistent adult who valued me. As a result, I believed that I had no value, and I lived my life according to this belief.

I treated myself as an invaluable being by denying my needs, catering to everyone else’s, and engaging in relationships with people who sought to benefit from my low self-worth. …

How to Live a Joy-Filled Life with Chronic Illness

By Jadine Lydia

“Living with chronic illness isn’t a life half-lived; it’s an opportunity to redefine what it means to be truly alive, resilient, and whole.” ~Christopher Reynolds

I have spent the past eleven years of my life in chronic pain. While this journey has been long, excruciatingly difficult, and deeply lonely, I am beginning to come to peace with my body. After seven long years of intense physical pain, anxiety, and depression, my mindset shifted.

Ironically, this shift began the moment that I got a diagnosis. In February 2020, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. After seven years, I stopped searching and …

4 Reasons to Appreciate Hard Times and How to Cultivate Gratitude

By Carla Piedrahita

“Thank you for all the challenges that built my character. Thank you for all the hard times that made me appreciate the good times.” ~Unknown

Gratitude is often associated with joy, blessings, and moments that bring us happiness. But what about the times when life feels hard? Can we still find gratitude in the pain and struggles that challenge us?

A good friend went through a difficult experience this year, and she taught me that the answer is yes. Her story left a profound impact on me.

Last month, my friend finished her final round of chemotherapy, and as we …

Tai Chi: A Strange and Powerful Dance of Freedom

By Lana Bird

“The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body—to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

“Relax your shoulders, keep your head high, stay grounded,” I cue myself as I walk through my morning Tai Chi. It’s still dark, but I know my moves, and my arms and legs move with confidence and ease.

Most of my life, I was a person with anxiety. I didn’t know I had anxiety, even though it was trying to speak to me as tension in …

The Simple Meditation Technique That Changed My Life

By Rebecca O’Bern

“Stay in the moment. The practice of staying present will heal you. Obsessing about how the future will turn out creates anxiety. Replaying broken scenarios from the past causes anger and sadness. Stay here, in this moment.” ~Sylvester McNutt

For two years, I studied and practiced meditation. I listened to podcasts, chanted mantras each morning, sat quietly while exploring my default mode network, and traversed Eastern mysticism under the guidance of a licensed clinical psychologist who taught me how to use deep diaphragmatic breathing to stimulate my vagus nerve and lower my resting heart rate. This helped me recover from …

Why I Stopped Measuring My Pain Against Others’ Suffering

By Natasha Ramlall

“A history of trauma can give you a high tolerance for emotional pain. But just because you can take it doesn’t mean you have to.” ~Dr. Thema

I just returned from a walk with a dear friend—one of my favorite ways to catch up and socialize. This particular friend has endured significant challenges, especially over the past year. She faced the immense loss of her pets and many of her possessions in a devastating house fire.

The ensuing tsunami of grief and pain pushed her through a tumultuous year filled with deep suffering and intense healing efforts. All the while, …

Silent Storms: How Mindfulness Helped Me Reclaim My Self-Worth

By Allicia Flemons

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

We often hear about storms as powerful forces of nature, but for many of us, the most intense storms are the silent ones—those we battle internally. For me, this storm took the shape of bullying. While I appeared to handle the daily microaggressions and malicious rumors, inside, I was crumbling.

The bullying didn’t stop in high school; it followed me into adulthood. Every time I thought I had weathered the storm, another wave of hurtful comments would crash over me, leaving me feeling trapped and powerless.

The …

How to Ease Pain and Anxiety Through Meditation

By Gabby Wnek

“If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. You want change, make some.” ~Courtney C. Stevens

If someone looked at my life when I was younger, they would think that I had it all together. I went to college to obtain my bachelor’s in psychology and social work, followed by my master’s in social work. I have always had good friendships and family relationships. I traveled regularly. I was and still am young and living my life. Little would they know that so much was brewing inside…

The …

What I Know About Healing Now That I’ve Ended Contact with My Mom

By Silvia Turoňová

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us.” ~Daniell Koepke

If someone had asked me a year ago if I would ever cut contact with my mom, my answer would have been a definite no.

After reconnecting with my dad in 2020 (we didn’t speak for over eleven years), I …

5 Lessons Pain Taught Me About Love

By Silvia Turoňová

“If there is love in your heart, it will guide you through your life. Love has its own intelligence.” ~Sadhguru

Love was something I craved for most of my life. I dreamed that one day, a person would come into my life, preferably a man, who would love me and save me from my painful suffering filled with emptiness and desperation.

Even when I was single, which I was quite often and for prolonged periods, I would fantasize about a perfect relationship with someone who’d understand and accept me even in my worst moments. I wanted a partner and a …

How to Navigate Loss and Fear and Emerge Resilient

By Deborah Leible

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” ~Lao Tzu

Sailing on a beautiful day in calm seas can feel like a spiritual experience and can convince your senses that life should always be like this.

My family life was smooth sailing for many years. My husband and I were committed to our family and our responsibilities of building and running our businesses, leaving little time for anything else. Gradually, the weather changed, and we found ourselves in the uncharted, turbulent waters of divorce.

I was unprepared for the toll it would take. My anxiety caused me to lose weight, …

The Problem Isn’t That You Have a Hard Time Letting Things Go

By Lori Deschene

4 Practical Techniques to Heal from Childhood Trauma

By Carla Corelli

“It is important for people to know that no matter what lies in their past, they can overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world.” ~Dave Pelzer, A Child Called “It”

I grew up in the shadow of my pathologically narcissistic father. From a very young age, my role in the family was that of the scapegoat, a role that poisoned my entire childhood. I lived in a constant state of fear, shame, and self-doubt, always trying to please my father and earn his love and approval.

But as I grew older and began to understand …

What Forgiveness Really Means and Why It’s the Ultimate Freedom

By Doe Zantamata

I used to loathe the word “forgiveness.”

What it meant to me was that someone could hurt me, lie to me, or even abuse me, say “sorry,” and I was supposed to pretend like nothing happened. If I didn’t, they would say to me, “I thought you were a forgiving person,” or “What? I already said I was sorry.”

It felt awful, outside and inside.

I had one relationship that I knew very well wasn’t good for me and I wanted out of, but my misunderstanding of what the word “forgiveness” meant kept me stuck there for a very long …