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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

When the People We Love Shut Us Out: What I Now Understand

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“Have patience that is all unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like closed rooms, like books written like a foreign language.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I started thinking about a distant relative on a walk in the woods. I had thought about her more often when she suddenly stopped speaking to our family, well over a decade ago. I would reach out to her through email, but after not hearing back over the years, I thought about her less and less and eventually stopped trying to connect with her.

On this particular walk, I began to

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Be a Witness, Not a Judge

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Three Things in Life

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How I Found a Beautiful Purpose by Giving Up the Search

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“You and your purpose in life are the same thing. Your purpose is to be you.” ~George Alexiou

We all play a pivotal role in society. But I’ve toyed with the New Age spiritual notion that we all have a unique purpose on Earth to fulfill—a purpose for which we have chosen to be here.

I used to wonder if I could only be happy if I found this one resounding and elusive purpose.

If I knew my soul’s purpose, I believed my life would suddenly have endless meaning and vitality. Once I found my purpose, I would leap out …

They Deserve Less Access

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Givers Need to Be Replenished Too

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Let Your Mistakes Make You a Better Person

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A Mindfulness Technique to Overcome Perfectionism and Step into Self-Love

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“When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are not pretending, we are not hiding—we are simply present with whatever is going on inside us. Ironically, it is this very feeling of authenticity that draws people to us, not the brittle effort of perfectionism.” ~Maureen Cooper

Most of my life I have been really good at following the have-tos and oughts of perfectionism.

I have to keep the house clean. What will the company think?

I ought to be pleasant and pleasing. Stop being stubborn. Worse yet, stop being angry.

I should not have told that long story …

Adult Friendships Are Hard

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You’ll Get Through It Again

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5 Things to Remember When Heartbreak Feels Too Heavy to Bear

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“If you feel like you’re losing everything, remember that trees lose their leaves every year and they still stand tall and wait for better days to come.” ~Unknown

For a big lover like me, heartbreak has always gotten the best of me. I have felt heavy pain from the ending of a relationship, the ghosting of a situationship, and the loss of what could have been with someone I never dated. And I’ve experienced the sting of friendships leaving my life.

It’s all heartbreaking.

It starts with a crippling, piercing full-body agony. And eventually it grows into a dull ache …

What Makes a Relationship Perfect

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If You Want to Be Happy

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181 Days Teetotal (And Counting): All I’ve Gained Since I Stopped Drinking

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post references an account of sexual assault and may be triggering to some. 

“When you quit drinking you stop waiting.” ~Caroline Knapp, Drinking: A Love Story

I’m now at 181 days teetotal. I prefer teetotal to sober. I say sober sometimes, but teetotal feels lighter, airier, and I feel lighter and airier these days.

For the life of me, I can’t remember when I took my first sip of alcohol. It probably came from a grownup’s glass.

What I can remember is being sixteen or so, half waking up from a blackout with a friend’s hand down …

Those Are Your People

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Someone Who Lacks Emotional Maturity

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Surrounded by Good People

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Hug Deprivation Is Real

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Caretaking Your Sensitive System for More Love in your Relationship

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“Sometimes you’ve got to look straight into the tired eyes of the woman staring back at you in the mirror and tell her that she deserves the best kind of love, the best kind of life, and devote yourself to giving it to her all over again.” ~S.C. Lourie

I learned the hard way that in order to have an intimate relationship (and life) that feels deeply satisfying, nourishing, and fulfilling, highly sensitive people (HSPs) need to attend more to their emotional well-being than non-HSPs.

Before I knew I was highly sensitive (which is a normal trait …

Stop Torturing Yourself

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