“The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” ~Nathaniel Branden
Do me a favor and don’t tell my wife what I’m about to share with you.
I have an absurd number of weaknesses.
Just kidding. My wife, of course, knows this. She is well aware of my many shortcomings. While she would be happy to add to the growing Encyclopedia of dumb shit I do, I will keep this short and sweet out of respect for your time.
We live in a weird culture that’s afraid to admit any of us have weaknesses or struggles. We’re …
“It is often those moments you feel least connected that you are actually making your greatest progress. The chaos around you is an invitation to pause, reflect, and grow. You are more than equipped to deal with this. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here.” ~Benjamin P Hardy
It’s 1 a.m., and the silence is broken by a cough that can only be described as sounding like someone who has smoked two packs daily for the last thirty years. There’s no way to predict when I’ll be woken again, but if the past week is any indication, this won’t be …
“Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you.” ~Michelle Obama
Do you have goals? Why do you have these goals? What will change if you accomplish them?
Will you be happy?
Think about this for a second: You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.
Think about that again.
You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.
Well, that’s a humbling reality check, isn’t it? So why aren’t you experiencing everlasting happiness and satisfaction?
No matter the goal’s size, the reward level, or the …
“Today I shall behave as if this is the day I will be remembered.”
Once again, Dr. Seuss reminds us of the finite nature of life with a powerful punch in the face.
If I’m being honest, only about a third of my week am I kicking ass. And that doesn’t factor in the weeks when I feel like I’m as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
On days like this morning, when I’m doing dishes and get pissed off that my wife left a tea bag in her mug, again, it has clearly slipped my mind …
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
My anger has gotten the best of me more than I care to admit. I’ve smashed windows, broken chairs, had movie-worthy brawls on the beach, and said gut-wrenching stuff that has brought people I care about to tears.
I grew up when mental health was not taken seriously, nor was it even on my radar. I just took my wild nature to mean I was screwed up and hopeless. …
“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself.” ~David Goggins
Today I’m going to ask a question that will unlock a better life for you.
You’re probably expecting something profound.
You’re probably expecting something that will shake you to your core.
You’re probably expecting something that you’ve never heard before.
Don’t get me wrong, it can and will dramatically change your life, but you’ve definitely heard it before. Especially if you’ve been around a three-year-old.
And did I mention it’s only one word?
It’s the simple question of “Why?”
It’s scary to ask …
“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.” ~Angelita Lim
I’m not a perfect parent. I’m not a perfect partner. I’m not in perfect health. I’m not a perfect friend. And I’m far from perfect with my finances.
Hell, nothing about my life is perfect. And guess what? I’ll never be able to attain perfection in those areas. And I’m sorry to say it, but neither will you.
Don’t be fooled by calling yourself a perfectionist. Perfection as a destination is what causes …
“Not to arrive at a clear understanding of one’s own values is a tragic waste. You have missed the whole point of what life is for.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I promise this essay isn’t an attempt to convince you that you’re living inside The Matrix. (Okay, maybe it is a bit.)
But do you ever find that days, weeks, or even months have passed that you didn’t feel present for? I describe this odd sensation as feeling like you’re going through the motions like Bill Murray trapped in Groundhog Day.
Every day bleeds into the next because you’re future-focused, and …
“No matter what kind of stuff you tell the world, or tell yourself, your actions reveal your real values. Your actions show you what you actually want.” ~Derek Sivers
I need to be a productivity rockstar if I stand a chance of accomplishing everything important to me.
There’s a book I want to write, a course I want to create, and a chance to work with an award-winning author that has given me endless projects I want to pursue.
These are exciting, but they’re creating a ton of anxiety in my life.
Because they’re at odds with being the …
“Don’t let your emotions outweigh your intelligence.” ~Unknown
I jump to ridiculous conclusions when I’m emotional, and I’m like anyone else in that sometimes they get the best of me. And it’s pretty damn embarrassing in those moments, especially if I’ve been stupid enough to make any kind of decision.
Having the awareness to recognize your judgment is clouded by emotion is next to impossible at times. Many of us don’t know how to read the signals. Hence why we get swept away by our caveman instincts and find ourselves saying, “All I see is red when I’m angry.”…
“Give up being perfect, for being authentic. Give up the need to be perfect, for the opportunity to be authentic. Be who you are. Love who you are. Others will too.” ~Hal Elrod
I’m not perfect. Not that this would come as any kind of surprise to anyone who knows me. But I often feel pushed in the direction of trying to represent myself as someone who has it all together. Especially because of the nature of my work as a coach and facilitator. What about you? Do you ever feel like you’re putting on a show for others?
“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” ~Walter Elliott
I often find myself impatient with the pace of my progress. Waiting for my life to move forward can sometimes feel like I’m watching paint dry.
There are so many moments when we feel like our life is at a standstill. This is generally where I double down with my intensity. I hit it with everything I can. The crash comes soon after from the inevitable violent collision of my mind, body, and spirit as they’re pushed beyond their limits.
The idea of having …
“Putting yourself first is not selfish. Quite the opposite. You must put your happiness and health first before you can be of use to anyone else.” ~Simon Sinek
If you’re someone who cares deeply for the people in your life, you may want to do anything you can for them. This devotion isn’t always reciprocated. Not to say we should only think of things in a transactional nature, but sometimes we can selflessly give ourselves away to people who are careless with our own needs.
It often leaves us feeling like we’re being taken advantage of.
It often leaves …
“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown
Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you’ll miss out on a big opportunity? I’ve learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I’ve taken on too much at times because I feared I’d miss out on something life changing.
We view opportunities as golden nuggets that are few and far between, so we snatch them up before someone else does, even if they don’t really excite us. But many …
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” ~Seneca
Many of us say we want a simpler life, but we don’t make any changes because that would require us to make hard choices that go against the flow. We say we want to be less busy and enjoy more of our days, but it feels easier to do what everyone else is doing, even if …
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” ~Pema Chödrön
Standing at the bathroom sink, I brought my gaze up to the mirror. I couldn’t avoid eye contact with the one person I had no desire to talk to. I had questions, and I knew the reflection looking back at me wasn’t capable of giving the answers I needed.
My solution was a handful of prescription pills to numb my anxiety and Type II Bipolar.
Every morning I popped a Wellbutrin, Cipralex, Valproic Acid, Lithium, and …