Dear Jana:

“The internal validation of the struggles I went through during my childhood and growing up was very crucial”- Yes it is very crucial.

When someone relies heavily on external validation and lacks internal validation, one’s behaviors might include: going out of the way to agree with others, even if it contradicts one own’s beliefs and values (People-Pleasing), frequently seeking reassurance from others and excessively worrying about what others think (excessive Dependence on others), altering one’s behavior, appearance, or opinions to fit in with others and gain their acceptance (Conforming), often second-guessing oneself, regularly comparing oneself to others and feeling inadequate as a result, and avoiding being true to oneself out of fear of rejection or disapproval.

On the other hand, when someone has strong internal validation, one’s behaviors might include: confidently making decisions based on one’s own values and beliefs without needing others’ approval (Independence), bouncing back from setbacks and criticism with a healthy sense of self-worth intact (Resilience), embracing one’s true self and expressing one’s genuine thoughts, feelings, and opinions, acting consistently with one’s own values and principles, regardless of external pressures (Integrity), establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships and interactions and communicating one’s own needs, desires, and limits confidently (Assertiveness), and experiencing a sense of inner peace and contentment regardless of external circumstances or opinions.

“I’m at a stage where I feel honestly good about being myself and not trying to change or question myself. I have to play my part in this world and not try to change according to someone’s ideas” – Your journey, like mine, is about transitioning from excessive seeking or hoping for external validation to developing strong internal validation.

“I feel terribly tied down when I have to follow some external rules. These are the echoes of my personality ‘I will not be bound by anything.’ That’s the lone wolf in me. I always choose freedom, even if it is hard and life-threatening”- reading this inspired me to post a poem just for you:

The Lone Wolf’s Cry:

In a world of chains and binding ties,
Where rules are forged, and freedom dies,
She wanders paths where few have tread.

No walls can cage this restless heart,
No shackles bind her spirit’s art.
For deep within, a voice rings true:
I will not be bound, I promise you!

She walk the night beneath the stars,
Embracing scars and silent wars.
A lone wolf, fierce, unchained, and wild,
In freedom’s grasp, forever styled.

Though roads are rough and risks are high,
She spreads her wings, prepared to fly.
For in her heart, a fire burns bright,
A beacon in the darkest night.

No life of ease, no comfort’s plea,
Can dim the light that lives in her.
She forges her path, she finds her way,
In freedom’s arms, she chooses to stay.

anita

Hi Jana

Yeah, Facebook is terrible. It is true that social media can be good for getting clients though. I don’t like politics or social media either. The state of the world is crazy at the moment.