– true: western societies, especially in the United States, often celebrate extroverted traits like assertiveness, sociability, and outward confidence. These traits are frequently associated with leadership and success. There is a strong focus on career achievement, financial success, and tangible accomplishments. As a result, spiritual pursuits can be viewed as secondary or even impractical.

In societies where productivity and efficiency are highly valued, traits like sensitivity and introversion are seen by many as less compatible with the fast-paced, competitive nature of the workplace, and spiritual development, which often emphasizes personal growth and introspection, is seen by many as less valuable in comparison to achieving material success and financial stability.

Historical context: the Industrial Revolution and the rise of capitalism, have shaped societal values toward productivity and extroverted behavior.

Also, media and popular culture often glorify extroverted heroes and successful businesspeople, reinforcing the idea that these traits are necessary for success, and from a young age, individuals are often conditioned to believe that being outgoing and career-focused is the path to success, leading to a devaluation of introverted and sensitive traits.

* But there is a growing movement toward holistic success, which is about redefining what it means to be successful, emphasizing a balanced approach that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit alongside professional achievements: companies like Google and Microsoft offer comprehensive wellness programs that include gym memberships, mental health support, and mindfulness sessions. Schools and universities are incorporating emotional intelligence and well-being courses into their curriculums to support students’ holistic development.

You shared: “When somebody asks me: ‘And what about you?’ I just say ‘Good.’ ‘Nothing special.’ ‘We are happy.’ and I am not able to share more, it is a part of my introversion that I simply don’t have a need or even an ability to share details from my personal life“- this behavior is commonly associated with introversion, where individuals often feel more comfortable keeping their personal experiences and feelings private. In my brand of introversion, I was either unaware of how I was feeling, sort of frozen/ dissociated when asked questions, or ashamed of what I was feeling, and/ or conflicted and troubled.

I was very quiet most of the time in social settings, and when asked questions, I too answered very briefly. My very short, general, non-specific answers were misperceived by some, I have no doubt, as a disinterest or reluctance to engage. Truth was I was eager to engage, just didn’t know how. And I was afraid to say something that will cause others to condemn, reject and get angry with me.

You shared: “I heard many times other people say to me: ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘Why don’t you say something?’ ‘Why don’t you socialize more?’ ‘It’s strange you like being alone.’ ‘How can you live like this?’ This makes me think that I am different and strange for others. And I expect new people, new colleagues etc. to think the same.“- it’s disheartening to read that you’ve been subjected to such comments, which reflect a lack of empathy and a lack of understanding and acceptance of introverted personalities. These remarks create social pressure to conform to extroverted norms to be accepted.

Hearing comments like “What’s wrong with you?” and “How can you live like this?” are damaging to a person’s self-esteem. They suggest that your natural way of being is incorrect or strange, leading you to feel different or alienated.

Based on these past comments, it’s easy to expect similar judgmental comments from new people or colleagues, which creates anxiety and hinders your ability to function well in social settings, professional and otherwise.

* Here are possible responses to the question: “What is wrong with you?“-

(1) There is nothing wrong with me; what’s wrong with you??? (an aggressive response.. not recommended in most settings).

(2) Nothing’s wrong with me, I just enjoy my own company a lot!  (a 😊 response).

(3) Nothing at all. I’m simply introverted and that’s perfectly normal (an assertive response).

(4) Actually, I’m an introvert. It means I get my energy from being alone rather than from social interactions. (an educational response).

(5) I am an introvert: I find peace in my own space. It’s what works best for me (a personal preference response).

Which response reads preferrable to you, Jana? Mine is #5. If the person responds in a friendly, goodwill kind of way to my answer.. I will express a willingness to engage with him/ her in an honest conversation!

anita