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16yrs later, it still feels right!

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  • November 3, 2020 at 1:37 pm #368598
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for the well wishes. I had surgery done. Now on the road to recovery. Well, l will work slowly towards a seperation once l can manage on my own. He never even picked up his phone to ask how l am while in hospital. Its such a sad turn out to what l hoped would be a happy marriage. Thanks for the advise, I appreciate it so much.

    November 3, 2020 at 1:52 pm #368600
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Zed,

    Thank you for the support. I find it hard to make that decision to walk out. As mentioned before, a young child, foreign country (still after almost 8years) and just not knowing what he is capable of. I have never felt so sad in all my life but l feel if l dont look out for myself, I will lose myself. I will lose myself to depression and feeling like there is no way out. I have continued to give and l feel exha by it now.

    There is nothing l know thats dark about him. I really dont know if he is capable of harm. The more reason l want to get better and go home. I feel like this is done for me sadly. I’m grateful though for the lessons l have learnt. Thank you for your kind, thoughtful input. I appreciate you taking your time, thank you.

    November 3, 2020 at 2:07 pm #368601
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Chatty Lady:

    You are welcome. I read you- it is a sad turn, a very sad turn out to what you hoped would be a happy marriage. Do all that you can to recover from your surgery and to safely move away from this man and toward a better life for yourself. Make your well-being and the well-being of your child- your first priority. And post again any time you feel like chatting.

    anita

    November 3, 2020 at 2:30 pm #368603
    Kylee
    Participant

    Hello there,

    First off, if you are unhappy in your marriage and have tried counseling and other things, then it is in you and your son’s best interest to leave the marriage. You have to leave for you and not this man from 16 years ago. If you leave, and immediately go for this man, you may end up feeling regretful that you made your decision for the wrong reasons. If you leave for you and your son, you will be able to make clearer decisions. Possibly you wait some time to reconnect in person with this guy, after leaving your marriage, and everything feels wonderful and you get married and share the rest of your lives together. Possibly you wait and reconnect, and things aren’t the same because you’ve lived separate lives and enjoy certain things that might not add up together.

    I think its best to analyze your current relationship and ask yourself if you’re truly unhappy with them, or if the thought of a past romance being sparked up again is wilting your current state of mind, pushing you to do something you may regret. Make this decision based on what would be best in the long run, for you, and your son.

    November 11, 2020 at 8:54 am #369017
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear Zed,

    Thank you so much, I appreciate the advice. I will do everything l can to make sure my boy is safe. The idea of a journal sounds like a good plan.  Thank you very much. Will look up the counseling charities. 💜 Thank you.

    November 11, 2020 at 8:59 am #369019
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear Kylee,

    Thank you so much for the advise. You are absolutely right about leaving for myself and not anybody else, fix my life and if that person still exists down the road…then figure it out from there. Him and l have talked and agreed to wait.

    Walking out just feels so difficult a step to take even when your heart, brain and body screams so. I will leave, there is no doubt in that, it comes to a question of when. Today, tomorrow or next month. I will make that decision as wisely as l can. Thank you so much 💜

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