I recently turned 27. On my birthday I was serene and felt grateful for another year of life. A few days prior I’d opened a box of cards that were sent to my parents and I even before I was born. This was really sweet to see how loved I’ve been even before I was born despite all the rough patches where I felt unlovable. I also got to reconnect with an old friend from my international school recently so that was lovely. However, for the past week our family dog of almost 17 years has been having seizures which makes it clear our days with him are very limited. Last night he had 3 seizures and is basically paralyzed and that it’s a matter of today or tomorrow that he’ll leave us. Even thought it’s his time technically it still really hurts losing a piece of my childhood. It’s especially hard to see my mom and dad upset and crying. My mom has always been a very tough love, no-nonsense person who made me feel like showing emotion or vulnerability was weakness. One silver lining of this sad situation is that it’s forcing me to live in the present rather than ruminate over how rough the past has been and how I’ve been mistreated or panic over the future. I’ve become more comfortable at choir and am getting better acquainted with the other members at happy hours. I’m not super tight with anyone yet but that takes time. I have been reaching out to other people like my childhood best friend and recently caught up with a friend from grad school. My mom even commented the other day that she noticed I was a bit more serene and less brooding. I’m still really heartbroken about my dog. I just hope he doesn’t suffer for much longer.