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A cold feeling

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  • #75391
    Toshi
    Participant

    So, I guess I should start from the beginning.

    I am working in Japan at the moment. My friend invited my to her house for New Years and she fell for me. However my previous experiences with relationships told me that I shouldnt do long distance but I fell for her too. We talked everyday for 4 months constantly texting through the day. She told me about how a guy liked her but she could never date him because he believes the first girl he dates is the one. I continued to work and talked to her. Nothing made me happier than waking up in the morning and seeing her messages. I was really happy with this I dont know why. She was to come back to Japan in April and she did. So right when she came back I took her out on a date and we had a really great time. She got me deathly sick but then she told me that she fell for another guy. She said that just texting couldnt keep her feelings strong enough and right before she came back to Japan she went to San Francisco with him and ended up making out with the guy. I was pretty devestated but I decided we were officially dating and I could forgive it. However when I got sick she kept making excuses why she couldnt visit me.

    I found out last friday the guy had been calling her telling her that he will come visit her and she told me the truth and was honest with me. I respected that but at the same time I didnt know what to do. I asked her who do you like more and she said I like you both. She said but I think I like him more. And at that moment I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I waited for 4 months, telling every or any girl that I had someone special I was waiting for. I know you cant control feelings but I just felt used. I felt like I wasnt good enough. So I told her I really care about you but I cant date someone who likes someone else. So go. And it hurt, I wanted to stay with her but I felt like I would just be stabbing myself. I waited for so long, a part of me wanted to know what happens if I tried to win her over. However A part of me knew you can`t make someone like you. So I said see you around, and we parted ways.

    So forwarding to now Im still sick because of her, I feel lonely, I really miss our chats, I just I really miss her. I hope I did the right thing. I really do, yeah I guess Im angry but I want to just move on. I want to get on with life, I want to just move on. Let go but its so difficult it really has been effecting my work. Its really hard to get out and meet people since I live in the countryside and dont have a car. I really want to get used to solitude but its just lonely. I dont want to feel like I made a mistake, I want to feel like I did the right thing. Thats she is happy with this guy and its not because I wasnt good enough but because timing sucks. However Its so hard to think like that. Someone just help me. Anything. I can`t let this effect me.

    #75392
    mamie
    Participant

    Breakups can be hard but I would say rather bluntly, It was a good riddance. If she really loved you, she couldn’t fell for any other guy. It is good thing that this happened sooner than after a long torture. Life is not over with one cheating girl, you should move on. Time will heal all wounds, you just need to tell yourself that you didn’t deserve a cheating gf like that. Surely you’ll find someone who will really love you from the core of hear heart. You need to face it with positive attitude and don’t think about getting back to your previous gf.

    #75415
    Inky
    Participant

    I hate to say it, but sweetheart, this is what dating is for. You meet people one-on-one and find out if you are a match. Sometimes you know right away, sometimes you go on a few dates and know. And that would be both people have to know. Think of it this way. In a deck of cards, you might be a five of clubs and she might be a four of diamonds. She may have met a five of diamonds. That’s more of a match, isn’t it? It’s not like a five of diamonds is better than a five of clubs, it’s just that it’s more of a match ~ for her! You would be looking for a four or six of clubs. Know what I mean? But you may have to get out of the Japanese country-side to find her.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Inky.
    #75462
    Toshi
    Participant

    Ah Thanks. I know you guys are right, it was a tough week but it’s getting better. My problem is that I always try to get the relationship cleanly. No weird love triangles or rebound stuff. I really try to enter a relationship with the right state of mind, this is the first time I’ve ever broken up with someone. To be honest I’m lonely but I guess it’s alright haha. Maybe I’ll find someone out here in the middle of no where Inky.

    Thank you I really needed people to tell me I didn’t do the wrong thing. I was so worried that maybe I should’ve fought harder but you’re right. I should want someone who is head over heels for me instead of someone who is half assed. Thank you.

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