Dear Anita.

I went back and reread your prior message and realized I didn’t fully answer your questions there. You asked why I wanted to know about your experiences and what specifically I wanted to know. You also asked if I wanted you to share in order that I could trust you more.

I asked you to share because I am interested in you, and wanted to give you a chance to speak your truth for a change. You do so much listening and offering advice to others and I think it must get tiring to be always absorbing, absorbing, absorbing, so much negativity. I remembered from another post of yours that you and your mother had a difficult relationship, and before I spilled a bunch of “mom” stuff, I sought to understand how it might impact you. When you said my prior story left you with raw emotion, I wasn’t sure you really wanted to read any more.

As for trust, you’ve made me feel quite comfortable and my reticence in sharing is only out of shame for my mother, and of course the sadness of seeing it all in undeniable black and white. I think for now we should end things on a high note for the weekend. What do you say to that?

I would just like to thank you for being you. I also want to thank you for all the wonderful, kind and genuine things you said to me and about me and for really seeing me in a way few people do. You have a true gift of insight and understanding – and you use that gift to help so selflessly. You are a beautiful person. Being in touch with you finally has been the highlight of my week.

So Happy Friday to you Anita! I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I am not on the computer as much on weekends so if you don’t get an immediate response, rest assured I will be back. I hope wherever you are the sun is shining and you are at peace. Hugs! 🙂

Anita,

Thank you for your response. I see what you’re saying about the screen name, but I’ve decided to keep it as-is and instead add a picture to my profile for flair! 🙂   Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, no?  I think I was just surprised someone else came up with the same name. One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to wake early, make coffee and sit in the living room listening to the Vespers Mass by Rachmaninoff while the sun rises. It is the only time of the day I am completely free without any other demands on my time or energy. In those moments I feel calm and powerful. And then my day begins and “poof” I return to being a pumpkin. 😉

I don’t know if it is okay for me to post this here, but here is the recording I have. Hope it works.

And yes, I need to find some balance in my life. There are reasons I’ve been away – and I’m happy to share, but I don’t know if this old thread is the appropriate place to discuss it. For now, coffee and quiet time are getting me through. I’m glad you found the same refuge!