Well some time ago I had this “problem” about codependency, I ended a relationship, I was feeling so unhappy and my ex to because of this. I was worried all the time so I didn’t enjoy it and he felt sofocated.
We broke up and I looked for help in meditation, yoga and a lot of mind-practice. Now I have a new relationship that Im happy with, everything was perfectly fine, but we both work and we also have schools so I get to see him only once a week, so all this thoughts of insecurity and the need of knowing about him all the time are coming back (all this happen only when Im not with him) I don’t want to mess up again, but sometimes its so strong, having a codependent mind is really hard, you cant think straight and that eats your heart. Sometimes if he dont text me a morning message I feel like he stopped caring about me… I know, it’s awful and it feels awful, Im so embarrased.
I want to truly love, not to fall in that hole again.
There is no need to be embarrassed, you’re a good person and looking to love purely. That is so beautiful!
It sounds like perhaps you’ve stopped self-nurturing. When we get swept into romance, this is normal. Our partner is around and we are so excited and alert, so comforted, that we feel full. This is fine and normal, but if you stop spending time caring for yourself as well, when they leave it feels like a loss. Get back on the cushion, go for walks alone in nature, take a bath alone with bubbles and candles. You are beautiful and sacred, and even though a partner helps you feel that, you have to keep working at your own recovery. Nurture, nurture, nurture!