September 25, 2014 at 11:47 am #65569SophiaParticipant
Hello everyone, I’ve been reading some of the posts to see if I could get some help, but I can see that each of them is a personal situation, so I decide to write about mine.
I was on a long distance relationship (from one side of the world to the other) for 2 and a half years, but we couldn’t get along anymore for many problems, infidelity, unknown future and time difference. Before we broke up we tried many times to fix some of them, but we just couldn’t move on with everything… between the problems that we tried to fix it, we apply for the residence in his country as me like his partner, so we could finally live together… but a week after we broke up, even though the process is still ongoing. I’ve been trying to see how I can cancel it but it seems that is going to take pretty long time, so I need to get full of patience and help from him, since he is the one who has the right to cancel it.
I’ve been trying to contact him, because when we broke up, I told him that for me was definitely and he agreed, but as soon as we close Skype, he wrote me that he didn’t want it to make it definite before he could work on some of his personal problems. After that I’ve been trying to reach him so we can speak about what he wrote and explain him that for me is really hard to move on when I don’t even know if he will show up or not in the future… but he just use excuses for not speaking with me. I decided to stop begging him for speaking with me and from the personality that he has, he won’t contact me, so I guess I have to do it, but I propose to myself just to do it if it’s something about the residence, not anymore the relationship.
I can say that I’ve been having a really hard time, especially because I don’t know what he wants. I am those kind of people who needs to put a name on relationship, so I can make my mind, body and feelings work like it is, and he is the opposite, but is not fair with me that he doesn’t show up while I’m trying to move on in something that is unknown.
If anyone can help me with advices or if there is someone who is willing to speak with me, I would be really grateful, since I haven’t speak to anyone about this. Thanks!
(sorry if my English is bad but is not my mother tongue)September 26, 2014 at 1:09 pm #65617JessicaParticipant
Sorry you seem to be struggling.
I’m sorry, but this man does not seem that invested in you. If you can think of the people in your life who treat you well, does this man do the same? If not, then he is not someone who is at all invested in making you feel like part of his life. So why make him part of yours? There are so many people in the world, and more than one can be right for you. Maybe this man was right at once point, but maybe not so much anymore. I think if he really wanted to be with you, it would be easier than this, not fraught with confusing conversations and emotions. I’m not saying love is easy, but love is respectful. If he wanted this to work with you, he would be trying just as much as you are. It is time to move on. And it is time to find someone or just people that you can surround yourself with that make you feel happy. I do think that if someone is not meant for us, no matter how much we want to be with them, it never will work out. We might be upset or angry by this, but it just means they are not our true match. Some people stay in situations or fight so hard until there is nothing left, what kind of life and love is that? It is neither. I think it would be wonderful for you to find what makes you happy. And if being with a person is what you feel will make you happy (although, a lot of how we will feel about ourselves and how we wish to be treated from the outside comes from within) then you should be with someone who will make you feel loved and happy. Be respectful to yourself. This man, is not respectful to you. Which tells me, he is not a happy person within. Is that the kind of person you are or want to be with? Lay it to rest, and start a new part of your life.September 27, 2014 at 4:18 pm #65652SophiaParticipant
Hi Jessica, thank you for taking your time to helped me through this situation. Luckily I’m feeling better everyday, but I’m afraid that if he shows up someday he can destroy all my progress. Your words made stronger, thanks again! 🙂September 29, 2014 at 7:31 am #65738Krista JenningsParticipant
Jessica, you’ll do fine! Give your self ample time to get pass this obstacle.