Forum Replies Created
October 18, 2014 at 3:28 pm #66430
It’s good that you are moving out. This man, and this situation, sound so horribly toxic. No peace in your mind (how can you have peace if someone puts your down so much?) and just not good all around. It’s a shame that he sees the world though such a narrow view. I bet that he is a very hurt person inside, probably from things that happened before in his life. There are two ways people deal with things: either they are mad at the world for whatever is going on in their life and act like they are the first person it’s ever happened to -OR- you have people that roll up their sleeves and take on whatever is in front of them – and it’s those people, the ones who don’t blame, who will be successful and happy. Your approach to him is very kind. Have you thought about spending your time away from him and his negativity while you’re still living there?? Since you are moving out soon, it might be good in the meantime to remove yourself from the situation – go out somewhere, take a book with you or anything, and just relax and enjoy being peaceful without someone who is so mad at the world. And really, it’s also none of his business why you don’t have babies or children. Some people don’t. It’s something that happens, and also not the path everyone takes. That being said, it’s also not something that’s happening right now, it can happen later if it wants. So what’s the big deal? Life isn’t the same for everyone. I feel sorry for your current roommate; I couldn’t imagine waking up everyday with such hate in my heart. What a horrible way to live!! I hope that you are moving somewhere that will allow you to live in peace and be surround with people that bring you joy, love, and laughter.October 9, 2014 at 5:28 pm #66167
It’s probably best to just own up to transferring the phone calls. It won’t be the end of the world if you’re honest. I know it if you did find yourself in the firing line, which isn’t anyone’s ideal, life would still go on and perhaps even be better than what your viewing this situation as now. It’s best if you do go find something else that will make you happy. I’m not sure why so many people are afraid to do that sometimes. I completely understand financial obligations; I get that, I really do. But this job that you dislike, won’t be forever and also won’t be the last job you’ll ever have. I’m currently hunting for a new job. I’ve had a lot of great interviews. I was let go from my job, and at first I was so…worried. Still am, but the majority of my perspective has changed. I was so unhappy in that job I had. The office I was in was unappreciative, and made me feel invisible. I worked very hard and was very loyal to them, but in he end they knew I was unhappy. I know now what my next job will be like. It’ll have awesome pay and make me feel happy. I’m thankful for being free from this office I was not happy in. Before all of it happened, I was looking for a new place to work. Jobs are never the end all and be all. Yes, they one of the most important things. But if you’re not happy, go find something that WILL make you happy! There’s a lot of give and take and no job will ever be perfect. But if you’re really not feeling this job anymore, make that change. I listen to this wonderful man, here’s a link:
He’s great, and puts things in perspective.October 5, 2014 at 12:39 pm #66007
Thanks Pink Nails!
I actually have already started to start my business. I plan on it being fully up and running by February. I plan on it being relatively small, I’m starting out with a web store first. I have looked into how other businesses got their start, but you’re right; I really should talk to people and ask questions! Part of me is hesitant. I got through phases where I am so driven, and then clouded by doubts. I know in my truest of hearts, that this is what I’m meant to do. But it’s still scary! Right now I’m taking baby steps..September 26, 2014 at 1:09 pm #65617
Sorry you seem to be struggling.
I’m sorry, but this man does not seem that invested in you. If you can think of the people in your life who treat you well, does this man do the same? If not, then he is not someone who is at all invested in making you feel like part of his life. So why make him part of yours? There are so many people in the world, and more than one can be right for you. Maybe this man was right at once point, but maybe not so much anymore. I think if he really wanted to be with you, it would be easier than this, not fraught with confusing conversations and emotions. I’m not saying love is easy, but love is respectful. If he wanted this to work with you, he would be trying just as much as you are. It is time to move on. And it is time to find someone or just people that you can surround yourself with that make you feel happy. I do think that if someone is not meant for us, no matter how much we want to be with them, it never will work out. We might be upset or angry by this, but it just means they are not our true match. Some people stay in situations or fight so hard until there is nothing left, what kind of life and love is that? It is neither. I think it would be wonderful for you to find what makes you happy. And if being with a person is what you feel will make you happy (although, a lot of how we will feel about ourselves and how we wish to be treated from the outside comes from within) then you should be with someone who will make you feel loved and happy. Be respectful to yourself. This man, is not respectful to you. Which tells me, he is not a happy person within. Is that the kind of person you are or want to be with? Lay it to rest, and start a new part of your life.September 26, 2014 at 12:53 pm #65615
I’ve recently had to do some job hunting. Before I had to leave my current job, I had been looking and even had a couple of really great interviews! I never once offered or included my references. I, like you, did not want to jeopardize my position. You should still apply to whatever interests you. If you get any calls and are asked for an interview, then make sure you have your references. I found that most employers don’t need references ASAP, and some depending on your interview, won’t even ask for them. If they absolutely require you to apply with references, just add that you’ll give them upon request at the interview. It is your private information in regards to whom you would like to give you the best feedback when your supplying a name for a reference. Are they wanting to call before the interview is done, or is it just the standard after the interview? If someone really wants you to work for them, they won’t push you away with threats.September 26, 2014 at 12:43 pm #65614
There is never a perfect time or a right time for something to happen. If you keep waiting, any chance you have will slip away from you. Time waits for no one. It’s okay if you’re not in the ‘right’ spot for yourself. No one ever is! As long as you are making progress some where (and talking to her about how you feel is progress!) then you are already at the best time to talk to her. Don’t let this time pass you by any longer.September 25, 2014 at 9:15 am #65555
I’m just confused as to how your family is able to get the money that is meant for you? Are they depositing cheques? Do you have your own bank account? Is your dad sending money to them and requesting that it be used for you?September 25, 2014 at 8:09 am #65552
Here’s the thing with “the one”: there might not just be one person who is absolutely perfect for you. I’ve thought so many times when I’ve really felt a connection with another that “this could be it! This might be the guy!” But then it does not work out. I figure if it’s going to happen come hell or high water, it will! And there might be more than one person out there who is right for you. If this guy actually was in love with you, so much that it bothered him to not be in your life, then he wouldn’t be saying things like how you remind him of his ex wife! What, because you guys had a fight and you said (gasp!) things because you were fighting, that automatically makes you exactly like his ex? How? It’s not like you were quoting her word for word! That is a poor comparison on his part. I know you feel strongly about this guy. I know that you’re hurting and want him back in your life so much! But if there is a universe that does not see this as your match, then there’s really not much you can do about it. You can love someone as much as you want, but they are not forced to feel that way about you. This guy needs to work on himself – maybe get over what happened with his ex before going out with people who want more out of him in terms of a relationship. He might just not be ready, and that’s really unfair to other people because he’ll continue to do things that hurt other people that do want to be with him. It’s also unfair to himself because he could pass up something that he may regret in the future. If he wants to go and play, then he should and stop involving himself with people who genuinely want something real. I understand we are not always in control of how our emotions are going to go. But sometimes we need to be courageous and see things rationally. You know in your heart what you want, and your “one” will show up. But it just might not be this guy, or might not be him right now. He sounds like he’s going through things that are so separate from you, that you should be with someone who is ready to take the same steps that you are. It might be hard to be a friend to him considering you feel strongly for him. But if he is ready to be with you and wants to, then he better be stepping up to the plate. You should be out loving your life and having great moments, love does not make you worry or make you suffer. You’ve done a great job of moving on so far; I’d he wants to be with you then he better start. If not, then you need to let this one go. Time waits for no one, and love has no time limit. You could be happy with someone who does not make such unrealistic and harsh comparisons (saying you’re like his ex is a little more than hurtful; he divorced her and it was a bad relationship! What a great comparison!) and who wants to be in your life and wants you in theirs and does not play any sort of games.September 24, 2014 at 5:47 pm #65506
To be honest, I really feel like he might be playing you right now. I understand that divorces and recently ended relationships can make a person unsure or afraid. But if you encounter someone whom does it for you, then you usually do not break up with them or let them be free to be involved with other people. He might enjoy the attention if you’re giving into his passive aggressive advances, and also might be someone who enjoys the chase a little too much. It might excite him that you’re not all his anymore, and he wants to push a few buttons to feel something. He might also feel that he is just being legitimately friendly. I am not a mind reader, and neither are you, so it can be confusing as to what were trying to see. I think if someone wants to be with you and only you,there are no games being played. Things are said and actions are done that make it concrete that person wants you. If he’s isn’t blowing up your phone to see you and talk about how he wants to date only you, then he’s enjoying being free and he’s not ready to date only you just yet. If he wants you, then he can most definitely put together a plan of action to have you back in his life full time. If he’s liking pictures and sending you links, either he’s trying to make you think about something that is not there with him yet, or he thinks he is just being friendly.September 24, 2014 at 5:29 pm #65505
It is good that you realize the things within yourself that need work! Everyone needs a bit of that:) I think you should talk to her again, because your feelings about this will not change. It is best to be honest with her and yourself, and I think if you were to just tell her exactly what you just said here, it might make a difference for the both of you. If nothing else comes from talking (ie: maybe you’ll have your good friend back, maybe it’ll be more of a serious relationship..etc..) atleast you allowed yourself to be honest and tell someone how you actually feel. Sometimes I think “would I be happy if today were my last day? Would I have told people exactly what I felt about them even though it frightens me?” I know that there are certain things I regret today that I did in the past. When faced with a chance to make it different, better, would I? I think you should just go for it! Either you gain back someone you lost, or you put that nail in the coffin and you’re set free from wondering.