September 24, 2014 at 2:14 pm #65501
He broke up with me a month ago after a fight and said he couldn’t be a good boyfriend right now because he was dealing with a divorce and blamed it on that – but I know the truth was out of resentment towards some of the things I said during that fight… and it may have caused him to fall out of love…….. I sent an apology 2 weeks ago, he sent a letter back apologizing but maintaining he can’t be that guy for me right now – but since then has sent me a link on facebook to a new movie trailer we’re both huge fans of and has liked the last 2 photos I’ve posted…… what’s going on?!?!?! He NEVER liked any of my photos before even when we first started dating and I used to jokingly bug him about it……. Has anyone been through this before? What should I expect next? What does this mean? What do I do? Sit back and wait or start contacting him? I do want him back, he’s the love of my life.September 24, 2014 at 5:47 pm #65506JessicaParticipant
To be honest, I really feel like he might be playing you right now. I understand that divorces and recently ended relationships can make a person unsure or afraid. But if you encounter someone whom does it for you, then you usually do not break up with them or let them be free to be involved with other people. He might enjoy the attention if you’re giving into his passive aggressive advances, and also might be someone who enjoys the chase a little too much. It might excite him that you’re not all his anymore, and he wants to push a few buttons to feel something. He might also feel that he is just being legitimately friendly. I am not a mind reader, and neither are you, so it can be confusing as to what were trying to see. I think if someone wants to be with you and only you,there are no games being played. Things are said and actions are done that make it concrete that person wants you. If he’s isn’t blowing up your phone to see you and talk about how he wants to date only you, then he’s enjoying being free and he’s not ready to date only you just yet. If he wants you, then he can most definitely put together a plan of action to have you back in his life full time. If he’s liking pictures and sending you links, either he’s trying to make you think about something that is not there with him yet, or he thinks he is just being friendly.September 24, 2014 at 10:39 pm #65514ChadParticipant
More important question, why are you taking your ques from facebook? Whenever anyone tries to assign any logic to facebook interactions, it truly is a sign of our times. Where interpersonal skills are being taught in the Technology lab and no longer in Communications Department.
Secondly, this guy is going through a divorce? Id say you should be more concerned with that red flag…..September 25, 2014 at 12:43 am #65518
Yes he’s going through a divorce but I honestly in my heart believe we’re soulmates and want to know what the best thing to do to reconcile now that he seems to be showing signs of maybe missing me? Here’s the full story (My original post) 🙁September 25, 2014 at 12:48 am #65519
Thanks @fortuna – I honestly am so lost as to what’s going on. What you said is exactly my thoughts….. if he truly wants me he would have never let me go……. yet I hit him with words during our fight and during his lowest of times that paralleled things his exwife would say and he even referred to me as the version 2.0 of her! Yikes. His friends told me he said “I do still love her but I don’t need another (ex-wife’s name) in my life right now” – He’s incredibly angry and resentful towards me so I guess that could explain why he thought he didn’t want me in his life, but now that he sees I’m moving on and has had about a month of space seems to be coming around again? I’m not sure if that’s what it is, that’s why I’m wondering if anyone’s been through it before?
This is so incredibly hard – I really do want to save us, I felt from day one he was THE ONE. 🙁September 25, 2014 at 8:09 am #65552JessicaParticipant
Here’s the thing with “the one”: there might not just be one person who is absolutely perfect for you. I’ve thought so many times when I’ve really felt a connection with another that “this could be it! This might be the guy!” But then it does not work out. I figure if it’s going to happen come hell or high water, it will! And there might be more than one person out there who is right for you. If this guy actually was in love with you, so much that it bothered him to not be in your life, then he wouldn’t be saying things like how you remind him of his ex wife! What, because you guys had a fight and you said (gasp!) things because you were fighting, that automatically makes you exactly like his ex? How? It’s not like you were quoting her word for word! That is a poor comparison on his part. I know you feel strongly about this guy. I know that you’re hurting and want him back in your life so much! But if there is a universe that does not see this as your match, then there’s really not much you can do about it. You can love someone as much as you want, but they are not forced to feel that way about you. This guy needs to work on himself – maybe get over what happened with his ex before going out with people who want more out of him in terms of a relationship. He might just not be ready, and that’s really unfair to other people because he’ll continue to do things that hurt other people that do want to be with him. It’s also unfair to himself because he could pass up something that he may regret in the future. If he wants to go and play, then he should and stop involving himself with people who genuinely want something real. I understand we are not always in control of how our emotions are going to go. But sometimes we need to be courageous and see things rationally. You know in your heart what you want, and your “one” will show up. But it just might not be this guy, or might not be him right now. He sounds like he’s going through things that are so separate from you, that you should be with someone who is ready to take the same steps that you are. It might be hard to be a friend to him considering you feel strongly for him. But if he is ready to be with you and wants to, then he better be stepping up to the plate. You should be out loving your life and having great moments, love does not make you worry or make you suffer. You’ve done a great job of moving on so far; I’d he wants to be with you then he better start. If not, then you need to let this one go. Time waits for no one, and love has no time limit. You could be happy with someone who does not make such unrealistic and harsh comparisons (saying you’re like his ex is a little more than hurtful; he divorced her and it was a bad relationship! What a great comparison!) and who wants to be in your life and wants you in theirs and does not play any sort of games.September 25, 2014 at 5:38 pm #65596PoochParticipant
I just thought I’d share my opinion on your question on what it means by your ex-boyfriend liking your photos on Facebook – I would agree with one of the posters here that unfortunately it doesn’t mean much. This has happened to me and my ex did the same thing, like my posts, photos, made comments etc, but he was already seeing someone else, who he ended up marrying. Unfortunately, this is causing a lot of questions and anxiety in you (seems like that to me anyway), but if ever you and he are going to get back together, he will be the one to pursue you actively again, and there will not be a lot of questions at that point. Things will just fall into place. I think he is liking your photos because he obviously has feelings for you still, but is not ready for a serious relationship with you, and at the same time, i think it is because he doesn’t want you to completely move on from him, which is probably not fair to you. That’s just my opinion, based on my experience. I think you really just need to focus on yourself, which I’m sure other posters have written to you on your original post. It’s hard, but you can’t really start interpreting every little move he makes otherwise you will drive yourself crazy (maybe, maybe not).
Take care 🙂September 25, 2014 at 7:03 pm #65597sojournerParticipant
Jen A – have you forgotten or lost all the wonderful advise you got here regarding this relationship and situation. Breath woman. I think he is maybe maybe trying to ease back into things…just be you. Be careful of pressuring him again. Maybe time for an honest conversation with him about his intentions. I’m not much for games and I’m sure you aren’t either. Best wishes, take care of YOU.August 30, 2015 at 11:33 am #82587GletParticipant
I read your entire original post and I am sorry that you went through all that..
but you wrote something about maybe going on a date to make him jealous…
did you go??.
and how about you go on a date,not to make him jealous but to get to know someone else…to try and have a good time for you…to meet other people….
as for him liking your Facebook pictures I wouldn’t put a heavy meaning to it..
I broke up with my ex and I like his pics all the time..
not because I want him back but because he looks happy and I am happy that he looks that way..it could have popped up on his homepage and he,just liked it..
I totally agree with what Jessica said above..
I don’t believe that there is one person that the universe has put in place for you…i believe there are many people that can be right for you..and the minute you adopt that mindset you won’t hold on so much on an ex..it makes it easier to let go…
I don’t even know if I am making sense.
am only 19,and I don’t have much experience on this sort of thing…
this is just my input…
I hope all works out for you..March 3, 2016 at 5:59 pm #97921HippieChickParticipant
I think you’ve gotten great advice and I’ll just add a couple of points from my personal experience. He could be playing with your emotions on purpose, he could be unsure and likes the thought that you still want him so he’s trying to keep you “on the hook” as an option (if that makes sense). Or….he’s just being friendly. Friends share links to things they have in common and like each other’s pics. I have a male friend that I once had an attraction to. I met a great guy and am no longer interested in that guy that way. But when I was on Facebook I used to send him links to Civil War things because we both had an interest. And I liked most of his pics because we have very similar likes so I tended to “like” them in real life. My current boyfriend liked pics of ex’s…sometimes of them with their current kids/family or just things they were doing. Because he truly still appreciated those parts of that particular person, not because he still had feelings for them or wanted to get back with them.
I wouldn’t read too much into it unless he starts actively pursuing you. And even then I’d tread carefully with a guy that is “angry” at you and has compared you to a woman he recently divorced!March 3, 2016 at 6:01 pm #97922HippieChickParticipant
Oh wow….I just realized how old this post is. It appeared at the top of my list so I assumed it was new. Sorry about that!March 8, 2016 at 11:08 am #98375dreaming715Participant
I’m not sure if this will help, but I thought I’d chime in. I was in a relationship with a man for about 5 and a half years. I “knew with certainty” that he was “the one.” About one month into dating I just had this feeling that he would be my future husband. Sure enough, three and a half-ish years into dating he proposed to me on a horse drawn carriage ride in the middle of downtown Chicago. Sounds like something out of a fairytale, huh? Well, we never got married. He called off the engagement. He later asked for me back but I recognized our relationship was healthy, so I moved on.
Almost one year post-split I met another man who I thought, “this is the one!” We had a fantastic connection, similar goals and values, and I saw a future with him. Nope… Ended up realizing that what we had was also not healthy and it was best for myself to leave.
My point is that I never would’ve thought I’d have those feelings of “this is the one,” until I met either of these two. It just goes to show that you NEVER know who is right around the corner… Who really will be the right person for you. Keep your heart open and stay strong!September 4, 2017 at 10:03 am #166874ElianaParticipant
I would wait it out. You sent him an apology, but he said he “could not be a good boyfriend right now”. He probably still cares about you very much of he is liking your pictures, and sending you links, he is probably trying to keep the lines of communication open. However, I would not hold out too much hope, because he has not really made any “real” contact to express interest in getting back together. He has not sent anything flirty or cute emoji’s suggesting interest in a possible reconciliation. Basically, he did what a friend would do, send you a link and give you a “like” on your picture.
I know that when we love someone and want them back, we look for the smallest things, and then the smallest things get us excited and our hopes up..but when we think about it, he really just did a “small thing” and he expressed to you that he was not interested in anything romantic at this time even after you apologized. Even after break-ups, people will “follow their ex’s around or friend them on social media. My first love, which really shocked me, (from 35 years ago) when he “friended me on Facebook.
I accepted his friendship request, but he is married, so I did not make any communication with him. He made none with me. Not even a “hi”. I think he just wanted to show off his lifestyle to me (large house, beautiful car, children, grandchildren, etc, and of course, he had 2, 000 followers. When we were dating and engaged, he was always insecure because he didn’t have alot of money, I didn’t care. I loved him and was proud of him no matter what, but it wasn’t enough. I guess he just wanted me to see he was doing well and has a great lifestyle now.
So, I guess what I am trying to say, is that there are many reasons your ex may have liked your picture, but he would have made more personal contact if he wanted reconciliation.September 4, 2017 at 10:19 am #166878ElianaParticipant
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