To be honest, I really feel like he might be playing you right now. I understand that divorces and recently ended relationships can make a person unsure or afraid. But if you encounter someone whom does it for you, then you usually do not break up with them or let them be free to be involved with other people. He might enjoy the attention if you’re giving into his passive aggressive advances, and also might be someone who enjoys the chase a little too much. It might excite him that you’re not all his anymore, and he wants to push a few buttons to feel something. He might also feel that he is just being legitimately friendly. I am not a mind reader, and neither are you, so it can be confusing as to what were trying to see. I think if someone wants to be with you and only you,there are no games being played. Things are said and actions are done that make it concrete that person wants you. If he’s isn’t blowing up your phone to see you and talk about how he wants to date only you, then he’s enjoying being free and he’s not ready to date only you just yet. If he wants you, then he can most definitely put together a plan of action to have you back in his life full time. If he’s liking pictures and sending you links, either he’s trying to make you think about something that is not there with him yet, or he thinks he is just being friendly.

Here’s the thing with “the one”: there might not just be one person who is absolutely perfect for you. I’ve thought so many times when I’ve really felt a connection with another that “this could be it! This might be the guy!” But then it does not work out. I figure if it’s going to happen come hell or high water, it will! And there might be more than one person out there who is right for you. If this guy actually was in love with you, so much that it bothered him to not be in your life, then he wouldn’t be saying things like how you remind him of his ex wife! What, because you guys had a fight and you said (gasp!) things because you were fighting, that automatically makes you exactly like his ex? How? It’s not like you were quoting her word for word! That is a poor comparison on his part. I know you feel strongly about this guy. I know that you’re hurting and want him back in your life so much! But if there is a universe that does not see this as your match, then there’s really not much you can do about it. You can love someone as much as you want, but they are not forced to feel that way about you. This guy needs to work on himself – maybe get over what happened with his ex before going out with people who want more out of him in terms of a relationship. He might just not be ready, and that’s really unfair to other people because he’ll continue to do things that hurt other people that do want to be with him. It’s also unfair to himself because he could pass up something that he may regret in the future. If he wants to go and play, then he should and stop involving himself with people who genuinely want something real. I understand we are not always in control of how our emotions are going to go. But sometimes we need to be courageous and see things rationally. You know in your heart what you want, and your “one” will show up. But it just might not be this guy, or might not be him right now. He sounds like he’s going through things that are so separate from you, that you should be with someone who is ready to take the same steps that you are. It might be hard to be a friend to him considering you feel strongly for him. But if he is ready to be with you and wants to, then he better be stepping up to the plate. You should be out loving your life and having great moments, love does not make you worry or make you suffer. You’ve done a great job of moving on so far; I’d he wants to be with you then he better start. If not, then you need to let this one go. Time waits for no one, and love has no time limit. You could be happy with someone who does not make such unrealistic and harsh comparisons (saying you’re like his ex is a little more than hurtful; he divorced her and it was a bad relationship! What a great comparison!) and who wants to be in your life and wants you in theirs and does not play any sort of games.

Jen A – have you forgotten or lost all the wonderful advise you got here regarding this relationship and situation. Breath woman. I think he is maybe maybe trying to ease back into things…just be you. Be careful of pressuring him again. Maybe time for an honest conversation with him about his intentions. I’m not much for games and I’m sure you aren’t either. Best wishes, take care of YOU.

I think you’ve gotten great advice and I’ll just add a couple of points from my personal experience. He could be playing with your emotions on purpose, he could be unsure and likes the thought that you still want him so he’s trying to keep you “on the hook” as an option (if that makes sense). Or….he’s just being friendly. Friends share links to things they have in common and like each other’s pics. I have a male friend that I once had an attraction to. I met a great guy and am no longer interested in that guy that way. But when I was on Facebook I used to send him links to Civil War things because we both had an interest. And I liked most of his pics because we have very similar likes so I tended to “like” them in real life. My current boyfriend liked pics of ex’s…sometimes of them with their current kids/family or just things they were doing. Because he truly still appreciated those parts of that particular person, not because he still had feelings for them or wanted to get back with them.

I wouldn’t read too much into it unless he starts actively pursuing you. And even then I’d tread carefully with a guy that is “angry” at you and has compared you to a woman he recently divorced!

I’m not sure if this will help, but I thought I’d chime in. I was in a relationship with a man for about 5 and a half years. I “knew with certainty” that he was “the one.” About one month into dating I just had this feeling that he would be my future husband. Sure enough, three and a half-ish years into dating he proposed to me on a horse drawn carriage ride in the middle of downtown Chicago. Sounds like something out of a fairytale, huh? Well, we never got married. He called off the engagement. He later asked for me back but I recognized our relationship was healthy, so I moved on.

Almost one year post-split I met another man who I thought, “this is the one!” We had a fantastic connection, similar goals and values, and I saw a future with him. Nope… Ended up realizing that what we had was also not healthy and it was best for myself to leave.

My point is that I never would’ve thought I’d have those feelings of “this is the one,” until I met either of these two. It just goes to show that you NEVER know who is right around the corner… Who really will be the right person for you. Keep your heart open and stay strong!

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was posted back in March. It was on the top of the threads..