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Pooch

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)
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  • #72450
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like you’re hanging on tightly to the past and have not let go – of EVERYTHING negative that happened during your marriage and after your divorce. Your wife has moved on and seems happy, based on what you’ve shared, and clearly you have not. You’re focus is on the past, and not the present. As long as you are focusing on the past, you cannot heal. I agree with all the other posters about forgiveness and moving on. You care too much about what happened in the past. Do what has been suggested in the replies here, and your life will change. Not enough venting will do the job, although it helps. It’s time to make a change (and it’s an inside job).

    Cheers.

    #69416
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    Besides your two sons and finding a special someone, do you have any other passion that you can immerse yourself into? It seems that you’re focusing on something that is very elusive, so why not focus on something that makes you happy and fulfilled that you can find inside you.

    You are most attractive when you are happy being just you, and enjoying life and your own passions (besides spending time with another).

    Also, I could be wrong, but if you have this negative notion of women out there because of your experience (I sense some bitterness), then you will carry this energy with you and it is not attractive. Surely, there are real, sincere women out there who want the same thing as you. Sorry if I’m being blunt, but just my perception and opinion from what I have gathered from reading your post. If I’m wrong, I apologize.

    Either way, I wish you well in this journey.

    #69101
    Pooch
    Participant

    I wish you well in your interview! Being nervous and anxious prior to an interview is normal. I get like this every time I am going for an interview. It’s so bad that my whole body just shakes. But soon after I am in front of the interviewer, the anxiety slowly goes away because now I have to focus on the actual interview.

    As far preparing for the interview, to help you remember examples or specific job experience, make sure you write them down, and do a mock interview in front of a mirror or a friend, and practice saying these examples of your experience out loud. Have your own copy of your resume while you are interviewing so you can look back at it, so it may help you trigger your memory. This always helps me. Also, when you are asked a question, and the answer does not come to you right away, you can pause for a second or two, and take time to come up with a good answer, rather than jumping into an answer quickly. Take a deep breath if you have to.

    🙂

    #68333
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hello, I agree with the posters above – you just have to let her move on, and move on as well. You repeatedly left to meet women with the same religion to possibly marry the right one, and you should stick with that.

    I was in a similar situation as your ex-girlfriend. I dated a guy who was of different nationality but his family were traditional and wanted him to marry someone with the same nationality. Towards the end of the 3 year relationship, the parents (specially the mom) was starting to set up/arrange for my current boyfriend then to other women (friend’s daughters, acquaintances, their doctor’s sister, etc). That really hurt my feelings, and when I was sure that my ex-boyfriend had made a decision to please his family more than to choose to be with me, I painfully broke it off. He ended up marrying a girl of the same nationality within several months after our break-up. She was their doctor’s sister.

    I’m sorry you’re going through pain, but it was most probably bound to end at some point. Start to heal, live and let live.

    Good luck.

    #66676
    Pooch
    Participant

    Then you probably need to separate yourself and heal. You can’t be just friends at this time.

    #66653
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hello,

    I think the answer is simple but it’s an everyday decision and a lifelong process – focus on yourself, make yourself a priority and be happy, with or without her. 🙂

    Good luck!

    #66360
    Pooch
    Participant

    I totally get it, Tyler. Not your fault for having expectations, you had good reasons for having them. I’ve been there with an ex. It hurts like hell, I know. At least, now you know she is not going to make good her word, so next time, you will be stronger and focus more on the process of moving on. Believe me, it gets better. I think if she had called you and told you that you are not meeting, then maybe that would just make you “hope” more.

    #66356
    Pooch
    Participant

    Sorry to hear that Tyler.

    You were in the moving on process but got side-tracked because you had expectations and you still cared for her and a part of you wanted to give it a chance, and that’s totally ok and normal. I think everyone goes through this cycle after a break-up. Just pick up where you left off, and continue with moving on and the healing process.

    Take care 🙂

    #65827
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    It sounds good, and you are being honest with her. If I may make a suggestion, maybe you can leave out “I’m sure it’s not a big deal to you” because you probably don’t want to presume that, you don’t know how she would feel about that and that is why you are letting her know. Just a thought. Also consider reversing the paragraphs so that the first paragraph would be to express how you feel about her, thus staging/supporting what you’d like to say in the 2nd paragraph, which is to hopefully get her take on the where she or where you stand. I’m guessing it would easier for her to reply that way. Just my opinion.

    Again, I wish you well with it. 🙂

    #65803
    Pooch
    Participant

    That sounds like a plan. Maybe get some more solid reply from her first before you pursue other ones.

    Good luck!

    🙂

    #65801
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    I would suggest putting up your profile again. You are not committed in any way or exclusive with her yet. I don’t think you need to let her know that you are going to do that though. But the decision is up to you. But I am pretty sure that you are not in the wrong if you proceed with meeting others. Also, maybe consider asking her directly how you would like to proceed with her (ex, exclusivity, etc) so she can have an opportunity to give you a direct reply”. Asking her “where you stand” can be vague, but she is definitely not giving you what you want, and trying to buy time from you.

    #65791
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve

    Three months is a long time. I think you need to look at meeting new people. Sorry to hear it didn’t work out with the first one. Don’t worry, it will happen eventually.

    Take care.

    #65624
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi Steve,

    I think you just need to continue whatever you have been doing until you are ready to move on with one of the two women. If some time passes and nothing is progressing, might be time to pursue new ones.

    It will all work out 🙂

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Pooch.
    #65596
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hello,
    I just thought I’d share my opinion on your question on what it means by your ex-boyfriend liking your photos on Facebook – I would agree with one of the posters here that unfortunately it doesn’t mean much. This has happened to me and my ex did the same thing, like my posts, photos, made comments etc, but he was already seeing someone else, who he ended up marrying. Unfortunately, this is causing a lot of questions and anxiety in you (seems like that to me anyway), but if ever you and he are going to get back together, he will be the one to pursue you actively again, and there will not be a lot of questions at that point. Things will just fall into place. I think he is liking your photos because he obviously has feelings for you still, but is not ready for a serious relationship with you, and at the same time, i think it is because he doesn’t want you to completely move on from him, which is probably not fair to you. That’s just my opinion, based on my experience. I think you really just need to focus on yourself, which I’m sure other posters have written to you on your original post. It’s hard, but you can’t really start interpreting every little move he makes otherwise you will drive yourself crazy (maybe, maybe not).

    Take care 🙂

    #65078
    Pooch
    Participant

    Hi R91,

    I don’t mean to question you when you say “I am not depressed…” but have you really considered the fact that you might be “mildly depressed”? I say that because I have felt the feeling you have described, and I was diagnosed to have really mild depression. When I am mildly depressed, I could function really well at my job and even socialize, but I would not feel that I was in the moment and not really enjoy what I was doing whether it is work or leisure/socializing. When I am not depressed at all, I feel happy and can really appreciate everything good about my life and really enjoy even the smallest of things or events.

    My only suggestion to you is to explore the fact that you may have a little bit of depression.

    I wish you well 🙂

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Pooch.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)