- This topic has 13 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
December 11, 2014 at 9:20 am #69098AnonymousInactive
I left a full-time in Car Insurance 2 weeks ago.
I handed in my notice as I was bored, depressed and anxious (not all of this was related to the job, but it was making life seem pointless and I became disillusioned to it all). I suffer from a degree of Chronic Fatigue which makes everything seem difficult.
I have a job interview tomorrow for a role in car insurance, part-time (24 hours a week), which is exactly what I want at the moment.
Because of my anxiety, I feel like retail would drive me insane.
Most of my resume/CV is office-based, if not bar jobs and that.
I always get nervous about things like a job interview, as I’m sure everyone does.
I worry that my mind will betray me and i’ll get embarrassed.
With this interview, it’s competency based and although I’ve tried to prepare today (an hour or so)… I feel like I’ll go in not knowing what I’m going to say. They’ll be asking for examples in things like: Where did you manage time effectively? When did you work well in a team? When did you give outstanding customer service? When did you adapt well?
I’m sure I’ve probably done things which would be good answers, but I have trouble recalling things from a while back and I’m worried I’ll go into the interview room, responding like ‘Ermm… I can’t think of anything. Pass’.
I know I could do the job because I’ve been doing it for the past year +.
Any tips to dealing with this? I don’t want to make things up, but I’ve always just got on with the job and done my bit.
For this type of interview, it’s all about examples.
I think saying ‘I took a call for a colleague and dealt with a customer on their behalf’ is a little lacking.
If anyone has experience with these types of interviews, please do speak up.
The role, specifically, is in claims handling.
Thanks.December 11, 2014 at 9:32 am #69101PoochParticipant
I wish you well in your interview! Being nervous and anxious prior to an interview is normal. I get like this every time I am going for an interview. It’s so bad that my whole body just shakes. But soon after I am in front of the interviewer, the anxiety slowly goes away because now I have to focus on the actual interview.
As far preparing for the interview, to help you remember examples or specific job experience, make sure you write them down, and do a mock interview in front of a mirror or a friend, and practice saying these examples of your experience out loud. Have your own copy of your resume while you are interviewing so you can look back at it, so it may help you trigger your memory. This always helps me. Also, when you are asked a question, and the answer does not come to you right away, you can pause for a second or two, and take time to come up with a good answer, rather than jumping into an answer quickly. Take a deep breath if you have to.
🙂December 11, 2014 at 9:50 am #69102AnonymousInactive
Thank you Pooch.
My girlfriend has just come round, so I’ll get here to do a mock with me.
P.S… My body gets a little shaky too, especially now that it is already cold as heck outside!
I’ll come back and post how it goes…December 11, 2014 at 9:58 am #69104beloveParticipant
Confidence rules. Contemplate on this statement, “I know I could do the job because I’ve been doing it for the past year +.”
Go for a walk or do some physical activities to ease up. Ideas usually come to me in a walk. Think about how you had handled situations in the previous job. Yes, don’t make things up, people can usually tell. Show them who you are. I am sure there’s plenty of qualities that afforded you to keep your previous job. Tell them those. Ease up before the interview also helps. Also, make use of the power of your thoughts. From this moment on, say to yourself that you got what it takes to do this job, repeat it in your head as many times as you can. Thoughts affect actions. When you believe in yourself on the inside, it will show up spontaneously on the outside. You can do it. Best wishes tomorrow.December 11, 2014 at 2:53 pm #69123AnonymousInactive
Thank you 🙂
I shall return tomorrow, hopefully with good news.
StefanDecember 12, 2014 at 3:26 am #69145AnonymousInactive
It went rubbish.
Probably the most difficult interview I’ve ever had.
Wasn’t even for the job I thought it was.
I thought it was claims handling, but it turned out to be injury claims handling.
It started off with a worksheet and I could hardly answer anything. Not that I care, because I don’t give a damn about injury and weren’t to know because I haven’t done it before.
The competency based questions were really hard and I was in a rubbish, tired and anxious mood throughout.
It’s hard to fake interest when inside you hate everything.
I know I don’t want another rubbish job like this.
It isn’t me.
But how else am I supposed to make money?
I’m too nervous to perform on stage and use my talents in music.
I feel like it’d be easier just to end it all, so I don’t have to worry anymore.December 12, 2014 at 10:22 am #69169beloveParticipant
It’s just an interview. It’s tough economy. We might have to keep going on quite a few interviews to get the job. You need to be persistent at this. You learn something from every failed interview. Like you said, you can’t fake interests. What you feel inside will dictate the outside behavior. So, work on your inside. You’re 24 sweetheart. You have your health and energy of a young person. You have many things going for you if you think about it deeply. A job is an important aspect of our lives, but there are others. Keep working on yourself. If you have talents in music, practice it, do it for free to build confidence. You can do it. The inner strength is in each and everyone of us. Once you quiet down a little, access this strength. Build your positive inner talks, and you can accomplish things you can only imagine. Keep a positive spirit. Everything will be okay. Much love.December 14, 2014 at 4:35 pm #69244Rock BananaParticipant
Who said you can only make money in music by performing?
And “I’m nervous” is a pathetic excuse not to perform. Presuming music is a passion for you, are you going to avoid doing it just because it has made you feel a bit scared in the past? Serious? Wow. Considering you can overcome that and become much more confident, relaxed and assured, I can’t believe you are willing to throw away all of that just to avoid a bit of fear.
John Lennon was so nervous before gigs he threw up before he went on stage. Did that stop him? Of course it didn’t. He didn’t sit about complaining that he was “too nervous”. Because he had better things to be doing. Stop making excuses and start creating the life you want to create. It’s not going to create itself.
I’ll echo what belove has said as well, I can’t believe the final statement of your last post, I really hope you aren’t seriously considering that and if you are then it’s obviously something you need to discuss with someone.December 15, 2014 at 12:37 am #69266
Rock Banana hit a lot of points bang on. Mate, I’ve been seeing you post here on the forums a lot, and I’ve offered to reach out to you personally, and even given you advice in numerous threads. Some of these responders are being sympathetic and I get that. We all feel good after a little bit of reassurance by a “oh it’ll be okay” or “I know how you feel it gets better” and etc. As much as I get what they’re trying to do, that is boost your spirit, I’m going to tell you a bit differently. So I’m just going to lay it right here in front of you:
You are attracting all of the negativity that is happening in your life. Life isn’t just going to miraculously get better for you on a whim. That is not how it works. As Rock Banana said, “create the life you want to create.” One of the most common things I’ve been seeing in your posts is the amount of negative self-talk you bring upon yourself. That is not helping you get anywhere at all. If anything, it is creating the future scenarios for you as you are manifesting them. Why bring yourself down and dig a deeper hole? You need to take control of your physiology and thought processes.
Calm yourself. Practice diaphragmatic breathing. Practice mindfulness. Spend alone time with yourself in nature. Exercise. Listen to inspirational music (I can recommend you a lot!). Watch inspiring videos (I can provide links). Try new things. Break out of your comfort zone. Practice these rituals. Start journaling (very therapeutic, jot down what you are grateful for).
I can keep expanding this list, but ultimately, it comes down to you taking action. What is your motive for action? What makes you tick? Are you going to let circumstances hold you down because you are putting a bad meaning on it, or are you going to invert that meaning and act accordingly? Are you going to let life beat you down permanently?
Change isn’t going to happen over night. It takes persistence, perseverance, patience, and courage. Practice it day in and day out. Get out of your mind of negative thought and let go of thought. Remember what it was like being a baby and experiencing things for the first time as it were all new to you? Guess what, we didn’t have thought control us there, we had wonder because thought wasn’t there. Our minds were focused on our surroundings, not in our mind. The ego is so damaging, and the more you let thought control your life, the more you are stuck and confined by the walls you put up for yourself.
I can go on and on Stefan. I don’t want to see you just ending your life. You are better than that. Know that. Believe that. Manifest that. BUT. You need to take that first step and take action. And train your mind.
The next time I see you post, I want to see a changed Stefan, not a Stefan who is still talking down on himself. Because that isn’t going to get you anywhere in life.December 15, 2014 at 5:32 am #69272AnonymousInactive
Thank you all very much for your responses; especially Spidey who has reached out to me several times now.
Unfortunately, I do have more than a few days like in the last post – In which I feel helpless and hopeless and … suicidal.
I’ve always been against medication and refuse to take it (due to bad experience in the past), so things aren’t always easy because that’s one less option. But I want to beat this on my own, knowing a drug isn’t artificially making things seem okay.
CBT is certainly very useful, as well as making time to relax and enjoy myself.
Sometimes, something goes wrong and it just seems to trigger a whole host of previous mishaps and regrets.
But yeah, that job was no big deal. I just felt bad about myself as a person afterwards.
I had a really good weekend in the end.
Part of my problem is that things look the same as they did years ago, externally, because I’ve stayed in the same comfort zone (even though it’s not all that comfortable at times). This weekend, I went to my girlfriend’s parents house in a place called Spalding. I rarely travel far from home and haven’t had a real holiday in years. I was partly dreading this (because I didn’t want to fall into depression – which seems to happen so suddenly, without reason at times – while there), and turned down a few offers to visit previously because of my anxieties, but I ended up having a really good time and it did me good to get away from my room and family – who I’ve been clashing with a lot as of late.
I need more refreshers and adventures like that. I’ve become so used to my surroundings, that everything is uninspiring and, when I’m walking around the same field every day (I love nature), I end up thinking *Well, here I am… Still depressed. Wasn’t I walking this exact same path 5 years ago? Things haven’t got better at all. I’m screwed. Might as well kill myself*… etc (Not all the time, but when I’m done, which is pretty often).
I’ve downloaded a couple of brain training apps on my iPhone because I’ve realised that my brain’s been becoming more of a problem over the years – memory, focus and that… Epigenetics shows that the brain isn’t a constant and changes for better or worse depending on lifestyle. Thinking negatively over the years has shaped my brain negatively. It’s so used to feeling bad about life and seeing things through a gloomy perspective (i.e. Look at those sheep in the field. They’re all destined to be killed horribly in a slaughterhouse, because humans are greedy and evil). I’m training my brain to learn more. I’ve also downloaded an App for anxiety, where you click the happy face (out of 4 faces) as quick as possible. This apparently trains the brain to focus on the positive, and notice it more. Kind of makes sense, and the app was only £1.49. This form of therapy is called CBM (Cognitive Bias Modification) and I hadn’t heard of it before. Some suggest it helps social anxiety.
That’s all I have to say for now, really.
I applied for a few jobs this morning, so I’m going to take it easy and relax this afternoon.
Feeling pretty tired right now.December 15, 2014 at 8:37 am #69279
Sounds like you’re taking the necessary steps man which is good. Slowly getting out of your comfort zone is a great one. Do you enjoy hiking or running? I know for myself, because I as well am notorious for staying in my comfort zone, when I go on my hikes, I try and go somewhere different and in the unknown, giving me that sense of new and exploration, going out of my comfort zone. I know that helps a lot on days when I get outside.
I honestly think you should make it a weekly thing (depending on how much free time you have), that is finding that refresher and getting out more in social scenarios with your girlfriend, or doing things solo. I know one thing for myself that has boosted my confidence and decreased my anxiety was going to bars on my own and going to the movies on my own. When I first started doing this I was completely out of my comfort zone and it felt awkward. But now, I go out on a whim and do things solo without developing anxiety. But I took the first step of action and exposed myself to the anxious trigger.
Find new sources of inspiration. In terms of outdoor settings, music, videos, speakers (role models), etc. Every morning I either read an inspiring article or watch a “feel good” or thought provoking video to kickstart my day. Develop a morning ritual you do that betters your wellbeing. Develop higher standards and rituals for you. You deserve that.December 15, 2014 at 12:29 pm #69288AnonymousInactive
I’d love to go hiking abroad somewhere… Will definitely look to do it next year.
During the summer, I spend more time outside. Sometimes go for 2 hour walks.
Keen for the spring already haha.
I think being off from work (that won’t be for much longer) gives me more time to be mindful of what I’m doing, and gives me opportunities to test myself. Before, when I worked in a massive open plan office, I’d come home exhausted mentally (I’m an introvert) and so the weekend was usually spent retreating from the outside world.
I can’t imagine heading out to a bar by myself.
I have had a really good night in the past where a friend never showed up though.
I was sitting on my own in a club (alternative music, not a ravey club), on Facebook.
Ended up having these dudes ask what I was doing on my own.
I said I was waiting to see if my friend was coming, and I ended up having a cool night with them.
One of the best ever. So many random things happened.
I don’t go out drinking and that now though.
My motivation in the past was to meet a girl.
Now, I have an awesome girlfriend, so no need.
I can see how that would be a good training environment though.
I guess it’s all about being okay with being uncomfortable.
It’s funny how paralyzed we can become, all because of some feelings and emotions that can really do us very little harm (I believe too much stress, etc, can be harmful).
Got a playlist of songs/videos you could put together for those of us interested in inspiration?
I guess Eye of the tiger is a good start.
By the way mate, how old are you and what do you do for a living?December 15, 2014 at 10:15 pm #69314
Just so I won’t derail this thread, I will answer a few of those other questions in separate threads I will make!
I guess it’s all about being okay with being uncomfortable.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable! Exactly!December 16, 2014 at 7:39 am #69335AnonymousInactive
I’ll check out your list of tracks in the other thread.