Feel emotionally faded

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    I’m not depressed etc but I feel neutral most of the time, as if my emotions never really “kick into gear”. I do have a laugh with people, thankfully, but I never enjoy things that HAPPEN, things I achieve and do. I never get excited about an upcoming holidays, the next pay day, birthdays or xmas. I really believe that if somebody gave me a house I’d be happy for 1 minute at the most before my emotions completely vanish. That’s probably not normal!

    Almost everyone I’ve spent time with notices that I’m always busy and I can do the most mind numbing tasks without stopping. Strangely, I find a brief (couple of seconds) sense of achievement and happiness before getting bored again. I tend to look for things to be doing (probably for that short sense of accomplishment).

    I just graduated from uni with a high mark. 4 years of work and I was happy for about 5 seconds when I got my results. I know people that have danced around the room when they got results! Me? I started doing some cooking and within a minute I completely forgot about my results and showed no sense of happiness from it at all.

    My parents asked me things like “oh I bet your glad that’s over aren’t you?” and I wouldn’t really have a response to it. I knew WHAT I’d done, but didn’t FEEL like I did anything.

    My previous manager was a qualified psychotherapist and he noticed that I never stopped to look at all the things I accomplished. I was working at a really high level for a uni student and he said he was proud of me. THAT made me feel happy (for a few minutes) but not the actual work. It’s almost as if I can’t connect emotionally with anything non-social?

    I’m exceptionally logical and a keen problem solver but this is really getting to me now. In fact, reading back over this forum entry, it doesn’t make too much sense… but I’m hoping someone has some input!

    I’m physically healthy and feel fine but a little voice in the back of my mind is telling me something’s really wrong, mentally.

    Having said that, it’s actually really useful in some cases. I’ve spent the last 20 hours doing research (with some small breaks) and I’m still going strong. I don’t personally know ANYBODY else that could do anything near that length of time for 1 session. I’m working towards the end of a project and really keen to finish it.

    I don’t suffer from lack of sleep btw

    I don’t know if it’s connected but I’m 23 yo and I’ve scored 80% likely for having dyslexia on several online tests (I will get checked out eventually but don’t have the time right now).

    Does this information sound like any mental condition you know of? I’ve been told to take a moment and just reflect and feel happy about something each day but I don’t know how to “just feel happy” about something?

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!



    Hello there,

    Wow, I wish I did that well in my undergrad! Tell me, are you doing what you want in life right now? Are you pursuing a career that you are passionate about? Are you doing things outside of school/work that you are passionate about? If not, then perhaps the answer is right there, go find something that make you happy. I felt the same way as you during my undergrad, which i finished last april, in science. Then and up till now I started accounting, which i have found is also not for me. BUT I have found my calling, something I think about and get excited about all the time, which is joining the police force. I am finally excited about the future in that I have found my calling.

    Another thing that makes me emotional and happy: I started volunteering on the east-side of my city, helping serve free food to the homeless. This gives me the biggest satisfaction ever, I am passionate about helping people, I honestly can’t wait for Sundays because thats when I get to do it.

    Anyway, that’s what gets me ticking. Find what you love, explore new things. There is something out there for you, and I know you will find it.

    All the best 🙂



    Hey R91,
    Sur has some great advice in there. I genuinely believe that people are good. Most of us are just so caught up in our own heads that we walk with blinders on causing us to be rude, mean etc. That being said, what gives me happiness is helping other people. I get this strange and cool feeling in my guts when I give someone a helping hand. Literally I feel it. I am a LOT like you. I don’t really get excited about anything in life. I do get happy about little things like a good piece of fish and movie but I’m willing to bet you get happiness about that kind of stuff too but don’t realize it. Don’t get down on yourself. As adults we kind of lose that thrill of living that kids have..that wonder where everything is magic. That’s ok as we’re under much stress in our adult lives. What’s not ok is not allowing yourself happiness when it presents itself. I sometimes get caught up in the ideology that “I’m just not a happy person so why would I dance to this song”…when in reality, I just stigmatize myself and don’t give myself the chance. Like Sur said, find what you love and don’t get discouraged if you find that you don’t love much. I don’t either but I make peace with that every day as opposed to getting down on myself. Man, we’re all the same, we really are. Help people more than anything else and then find what you are passionate about by just living your life and being open to things. Don’t search for anything, just keep an open mind and keep your hands on the wheel. Hope that helps bud.



    Hi R91,

    I don’t mean to question you when you say “I am not depressed…” but have you really considered the fact that you might be “mildly depressed”? I say that because I have felt the feeling you have described, and I was diagnosed to have really mild depression. When I am mildly depressed, I could function really well at my job and even socialize, but I would not feel that I was in the moment and not really enjoy what I was doing whether it is work or leisure/socializing. When I am not depressed at all, I feel happy and can really appreciate everything good about my life and really enjoy even the smallest of things or events.

    My only suggestion to you is to explore the fact that you may have a little bit of depression.

    I wish you well 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Pooch.
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