October 23, 2014 at 8:25 am #66676PoochParticipant
Then you probably need to separate yourself and heal. You can’t be just friends at this time.October 23, 2014 at 10:38 pm #66719-MParticipant
It sounds like you’re emotional right now. The brutal truth is that you’re probably not feeling like yourself and you’re probably not thinking like yourself either.
I agree with one of the earlier posts. Actions are all that matter.
You stated earlier that you did something to hurt her. Every action has a reaction. This is the reaction.
We all must learn to accept the reality of the reaction. You made a choice and you did the action. Now you have to accept the reaction. There is nothing more empowering than owning your decisions and owning the consequences.
Of course it is going to hurt. You spent a good chunk of your life with her. It is like taking off your sweater in the cold and now it is raw and open.
But at least now, you get a chance to really think for yourself again. Focus your energy on sorting out the important question. The important question is not whether she will take you back or whether she loves you. The important question is how you feel about her. Then, you can gauge at what length and the severity of sacrifices that you would make in order to win her back. Then, you will be in a position to focus your energy and be able to act with intention.
Peace to you,
MOctober 24, 2014 at 9:47 am #66737Tyler SantParticipant
This is probably the worst i have been since this topic started. I’m crying again… nothing that i do is helping me, i can’t be happy. I need new solutions, new things to read, or just a hug from someone…..because i feel like dying. i know it all goes away eventually, i’ve been there 7 times already, but this time……
Since it endend, i focused on putting myself in her shoes. I did, and that’s why it hurts so much. But i changed for myself, and i can see that in every relationship i have: with my friends, my co workers, my parents….i’m much more respectful and caring for everyone, it’s a change from the bottom of my heart. I didn’t change to show her what i could be, i did it to improve my life. I know i’ll see the benefits, but……I LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH. I’m crying as i write this, can’t take this anymore. I don’t know how to let her go.
She is like crap too, as she told her friends. She clearly has feelings for me, as she said. She misses me. She saw that i really changed. So why am i crying all the time since the last time we saw each other? I don’t know if i can be friends with her…. i’m afraid i won’t recover, this is being a terrible day for me, i phisiclly feel the pain in my heart, in my head, my body…..help me, someone, so i can help myself, PLEASE. I’m sorry if this is stupid, or ridiculous, or imature…..October 24, 2014 at 10:12 am #66738Tyler SantParticipant
i just want to say another thing…..that i am grateful we broke up. Otherwise, i woudn’t have changed. So i see all the good that’s coming out of it. But the pain is not improving…..April 29, 2016 at 12:45 pm #103130mang313Participant
Hi Tyler, I know this post is old but I am looking for some hope as I am going through this now. Im dying inside and don’t know what to do. She is my light and we were supposed to get married next year and suddenly breaks up w/ me a month ago. I think a big part is because an old friend came around and I think she may have begun by using him as a emotional affair. She hasn’t said anything that she is w/ him but I have suspicions. She keeps telling me he is like a brother. IDK what to do. Ues we had some issues but nothing I couldn’t fix. We still live together too cuz of $. It’s brutal. Please tell me, how did things go w/ your situation?April 29, 2016 at 1:18 pm #103133anitaParticipant
I hope Tyler visits this website still. His last post was Oct 2014.
If you’d like to share with me/ others more about your situation, please do. I will be away from the computer for a few hours but when I return, if you post again, I will answer.
If you’d like do share about when and how the breakup happened, what she told you then, what she told you since, what evidence you have about her being together with the old friend and how do you deal with living with her?
Have you talked about either one of you or both moving out? Is this a good idea?