Pedro,

First things first.  My guess you still need to support yourself financially. Keep at it.  I’m 65 and have a spotty work history and found a job. It took me a while but I maintained a positive attitude and support from friends and family.  Having an income gives you options, e.g. divorce, place to stay, etc.

Second, get healthy; emotionally and physically.  This is closely tied to getting a job.  If you are a Sad Sack then that comes across in your job search and interviews.  I know, easy to say.  The Buddhist practices written on this website can help you towards that, i.e. mindfulness, meditation.   Another part of emotional health is having a sangha, a circle of supportive friends/community.  I worked hard since my divorce to make and keep friends.

My take is that looking for another relationship while still married is not the best way of getting your life back on track.

The answer to your last question to anita “How can one find someone who sees that they have a good heart?” is to practice a compassionate and kind life.  Be good to yourself and to others around you.  Volunteer.  Live from your good heart.  Put your good heart into practice and action.  I find volunteering not only a great way of being involved in helping others, it helped me with my depression and loneliness.

I maintained a regular exercise routine as well.  Physical activity is tied to physical AND emotional health.  This could be a daily walk.  I recently discovered pickleball.  This was an easy sport to pick up and it is social.  I also did solo activities; walking, running, bicycling, gym and was never good with eye-hand coordination sports.  I find I can enjoy this sport.

Mark

• This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Mark.

Dear Pedro:

In your note to me you asked: “how can one find someone who sees that they have a good heart?”- In my post to you before, page 1, I suggested that you find a woman who has a heart (not a woman who will see that you have a heart).

Look for a woman who doesn’t see you as a physical body alone, as a list of physical features she doesn’t approve of, let’s say eyes that are too  small or too close together for her liking. But a woman who sees the light in your eyes, that is sometimes there. And she gets intrigues and wants to know more about that light, about what you hope for, what you want, what fuels this light.

anita