Dear hopelesshope:

What incurable illness is it?

Please do share more: how long were you gf/ bf? What was the nature of the relationship and when you told him… did he say anything in response or did he just disappear?

anita

Nice quote. Thanks for sharing that. It helped me a little bit somehow.

@ Hopeless. This might not mean much now, but many of us are forcing ourselves to walk ahead with you. It sounds like you might be in a bit of shock or perhaps it was so much in such a short time. Maybe you need to mourn and go through the stages of grief. You are hurting so much and not being able to eat, sleep, or find pleasure or solace, well those things are just par for the course. You can’t allow yourself to get stuck, but you can give yourself time to grieve.

Now for the hard stuff. You have to hold your head high and remind yourself that this is all his dysfunction, immaturity, problem. It really is much better to figure this out sooner than later. You also have to take care of yourself. Force yourself if you have to. Make it part of your routine.

As far as how you are feeling, I’ve had some success with a sort of meditative visualization. I will imagine undesired thoughts, emotions, people, situations being loaded into a rocket or airplane, floating away high in the atmosphere and being dumped far away in the middle of the ocean, exploding in space or whatnot. Sometimes I visualize the now empty plane return from dumping my pain and unload something I desire in my life.

I hope that your former significant other miraculously makes things right and is there for you, your illness turns out to be a false diagnosis or a cure is found and that you are surrounded by love, joy, comfort, happiness, health and peace. 🙂

Dear hopelesshope:

You wrote in your last post that you are trying to “decipher what lesson” you were “supposed to learn”- for that purpose, let’s look at your situation here…:

You recently discovered, you wrote, that you have an “incurable illness” that will not kill you and that is not causing you any harm.

If this condition does not harm you, is not affecting your body, then I don’t think the word “illness” is correct at all. If it is not an illness, that is, no harm done to your body, no symptoms, then the word “cure” is incorrect either because there are no symptoms to alleviate.

And so “incurable illness” doesn’t read accurate to me.

Clearly your condition is not visible because your ex boyfriend didn’t know about it until you told him, and there are no symptoms to your body. The only problem with this condition is the social stigma you mentioned, a stigma you feel is unjustified.

Can a lesson to be learned perhaps is to not call it an “incurable illness”?

And maybe not to share about it to anyone since it has no symptoms, no progression/ prognosis?

anita

You are welcome, hopelesshope.
anita