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  • #96964
    skm0025
    Participant

    Hellllllo readers,

    Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely down on myself.
    I’ve been having trouble with my insecurities and allow them to consume me.
    My roommates were both my very close friends before moving in together, but now they never invite me to anything and have their own friendship.
    I’ve always been the quiet type, so this pushed me away and I slowly began spiraling down the drain.
    I almost never have an appetite, I can’t focus on my school work, I don’t through the night, etc.
    Whenever I mention my troubles to my parents, they excuse my problems.
    I don’t feel like I can really talk to anyone about what I’m going through, which lead me to this website.
    I haven’t talked to a doctor about it, because I don’t want them shoving pills down my throat, but I’m starting to think I have anxiety difficulties.
    I feel unsatisfied with my life and it’s taking control of me as a person.
    I am not the same, happy-go-lucky girl I was a year ago.
    HELP!

    #96976
    Jane
    Participant

    Dear Skyylar – my heart goes out to it really does. I’m glad you found this site, there are many wonderful people to help you on here, its quite a blessing. But I understand what your going through. Nothing feels good about rejection, but know that this time WILL pass. Emotions and events forever change like waves. You will see better days I promise you! Have you communicated this to your roommates btw? Perhaps the just dont know how you feel. In the meantime though, maybe you can look up meetup groups that share similar interests with you, thats a good way to find new friends. I am like you, I am somewhat quiet but we have to kinda force ourselves to get out there to increase our chances of meeting new people : ) I made a long time friend just from posting on this site! We have been friends for 4 yrs now. See, who wouldve known? As for the doctor, I’d say hold off for now. Maybe try to exercise or get out in nature to get that serotonin and of course come on here when your down. Sending you hugs..

    -j

    #96984
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Skyylar:

    How about a good psychotherapist- not a medical doctor, therefore one to not prescribe drugs to you? A person to help you gain insight and learn skills so to take good care of yourself..?

    In the meantime, please feel free to share anything here, anything more specific…

    anita

    #97011
    skm0025
    Participant

    Thank you, both. It’s refreshing to know there are people out there that are as open-minded as you two are. I do have many friends, whom love me and enjoy my company, but I’ve noticed that I tend to dwell on the negative and I allow myself to get overwhelmed with everyday life. No matter how well my day is going, if one bad thing happens I think about it for the rest of my day. I hate that I do this!! I’ve been working really hard on keeping myself happy and growing as a person, but this world makes it very difficult haha
    -S

    #97022
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Skyylar-

    That is not very nice that your roommates don’t include you, it’s not your fault and it’s nothing that you did wrong. I’m also really happy to see that you have loving friends that love you and enjoy your company. Stay close to people that love you, want to spend time with you and that you can easily communicate with. That’s always special to have. 🙂

    “I haven’t talked to a doctor about it, because I don’t want them shoving pills down my throat, but I’m starting to think I have anxiety difficulties.”

    I agree with you on not wanting to a doctor to be shoving pills down your throat. Very wise decision to no go there.
    Whenever you have anxiety, do something that relaxes you. Hot bath with some lavender oil, meditation or what ever you feel calms you and helps you.

    “I’ve been working really hard on keeping myself happy and growing as a person, but this world makes it very difficult haha”

    The fact that you are working on keeping yourself happy and growing as a person is great! You seem to have a good head on your shoulders by making healthy decisions for yourself, happiness and well being.

    Lots of positivity and light.

    M.

    #97036
    Matty
    Participant

    Hi Skyylar,

    To me it sounds like you started off feeling defected and lonely because your friends are off doing their own thing. Your parents are also not being as supportive as you want too. As a result that support network, the community you guys had together has been broken and is no longer as supportive as it once was. Ultimately things have changed so quickly that you haven’t had time to adjust. Without your support network you feel like your truly walking alone and without any guidance or support. This has led you to worry and become anxious over things/ issues that are arising. Without your community you have, in a sense lost your identity of who you are.

    Well, it’s not all bad news. Generally, as humans our identities are shaped by those around us, those we interact and share experiences with. But we often forget that we can construct our own identities and validate them ourselves. When people say they want to go back to a happier time, i’m optimistic that it can be done. However, when we think back, the circumstances were different. You can try as hard as you want to return to who you once were, but you may end up disappointed, because your attitude and opinion of yourself a year ago would of been supported by your friends and family. Personally, i would aim to make yourself a fun loving girl from this point, not try to duplicate the past. If you continue to look backwards at what was once before, you won’t see what’s coming straight at you. Possibly, because we, as humans see ourselves as members of larger communities and networks, we forget ourselves as the individual making these networks cohesive. I want you to look in the mirror and just look at yourself. What makes you happy, what makes you angry, sad, makes you laugh? What makes you important and special? What makes you…you?

    Just because you are quite, doesn’t make you less able to have friends, it just makes you less vocal and visible than the rest. And i think we become friends and form bonds with people who have something we value, respect or namely don’t have. So your roomies could still be your friend, they may have just made a ‘human’ mistake and taken for granted that you aren’t affected by what they are doing.

    Jane made a good suggestion; speak to your roomies. Try to understand why they are acting this way, instead of just accepting it at face value. Also, seeing a doctor doesn’t mean you will start taking pills. They can give them to you, but you don’t have to take them.

    “Knowing others is wisdom, Knowing yourself is enlightenment” Lao Tzu

    I hope this was helpful,
    Sincerely, Matty

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