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Anxiety in my relationship

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  • #221953
    Anonymous
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    Ok. So where do I start..

    My boyfriend of 2 and half years is great! My first and only love and only person I’ve ever been  with.

    Now he is a sociable person and when we got into a relationship I was aware of two girls he hung around with. They both are kind are very a like but it’s only one I have a problem with.

    It starts from my partners birthday. Long story short, caught them both dancing with each other but in a manner I don’t agree with. She was whining on him.

    My partner and I have spoke about this. He apologised we moved on. Well at least I thought we was moving on until I noticed that this girl was a bit to close for comfort with my boyfriend. They would go out to dinner together, she’d secretly be filming him on Snapchat without him knowing while he was working. He’d meet her on lunch (wouldn’t meet me). And other stuff was happening that I just didn’t like. The girls would send naughty pictures in the group chat they had with my boyfriend and a few other boys they are all friends with. Now you can imagine I went crazy when I discovered these pictures.

    Now this girl and I spoke and I told her she was disrespecting my relationship and me blah blah. She apologised swore she wouldn’t do anything like that and we came to some what of an agreement and said let’s move on from this. Next day she blocked me on all social media. Now to me that was fishy. I approached my partner and he was just like you’re looking to into it. But I was sure she was gonna mess up again and do something I wouldn’t like and she knew I wouldn’t like. Fast forward a few months. A friend sent me a video on the girls social media of her trying to dance up on my man.

    Mum partner then agreed to some what cut ties with this girl. After months of me having to sit there and watch all this stuff happen that I didn’t like because he thought I was looking way to into things, but after the final straw he started to see between the lines. Whether she had a thing for him or just felt a type of way that my partner had another female in his life other than her and she reacted like this out of jealousy I don’t know. But regardless I didn’t appreciate how she was carrying on around him. There are boundaries.

    Now that I’ve kind of told you the back story, this is my dilemma now.

    Now when he goes out to meet up with the lads she’ll either be there or ring someone there asking what they are doing and once she finds out who’s there she just goes. Or sometimes she’ll see where they are on social media and turn up. Weird.

    Now when my partner tells me he is going out I have no problem wit that but when i know he is meeting up with certain guys I know she’s gonna ten up or be there and the thought of her being around him gives me serious anxiety. He thinks I don’t trust him but I do. He understands now where I was coming from and keeps his distance when they are around each other. But I generally don’t want the girl In his presence at all and I know I can’t control that. But I want to be able to control my anxiety over this girl.

    My solution for this would be for him to not see her at all but that is impossible to happen. I just wished he would feel disgusted to be in someone’s presence that hurt me so so so much.

    How di I cope with the anxiety that this gives me?

    I don’t think I’ve explained that great the situation but I hope it is some what clear and someone could advise me from outside the situation.

     

    Thank you in advance

     

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