I’ve noticed a strange, uncontrollable reaction as I was in the office last week. Now I’m in a loving, caring relationship for almost 4 years, and me and my partner get along well. Before I knew my boyfriend I was dating this guy from my University, but it was just that, a few coffee dates and some walks. Although I liked the guy he suddenly stopped texting, ending with me feeling hurt and rejected. I thought that I healed from that, then I met my boyfriend who is amazing and everything was great. But now I work in an office and the guy I dated in University turns out that he works here too. He’s in a different department, but still sometimes I’m confined with him in a 3/3 square meter room. He acts or maybe he doesn’t genuinely even remember me. The problem is that whenever I see him I feel a strong reaction in my body: heavy breathing, strong and fast heartbeat, dizziness and shaking. I don’t want to talk to him, or anything like that…I’m simply wandering what should I do to stop feeling like this?
“heavy breathing, strong and fast heartbeat, dizziness and shaking” means that your body is preparing itself to fight or to run away from what you perceive to be Danger (the well known fight or flight response to perceived danger).
This co-worker is a guy you liked a few years ago, a guy who suddenly stopped texting you, ending with you “feeling hurt and rejected“. I am guessing that the Danger you perceive when you see him at work is the feeling of hurt and rejection you felt back then.
You asked: “what should I do to stop feeling like this?“- as a start, it may help you to express the hurt and rejection you felt a few years ago when he stopped texting you: you can express it privately in a journal, talk about it to a counselor, or you can express it here, on your thread. If you do, I will read and reply to you further.