Dear Serendipityj:

The fact that she is not over her ex boyfriend has to be a Stop Sign for you, Stop, turn back and Drive Away sign.

It is a shame that the distance is right and a few other things seem right, but the ex boyfriend still in the picture, still occupying her emotionally is a traffic crash about to happen.

If you want, you can watch the traffic so to speak, from a safe distance, see what happens, but don’t get on the road. In other words, don’t get involved with her, is my advice.

anita

Dear Serendipityj,

As everyone knows the saying “Whatever is meant to be, will eventually be. If not, then it was never meant to be.” That is your situation. She is clearly not ready to let go of her ex, and it is has nothing to do with you. This is strictly her problem. It takes every single person a different amount of time to let go of the past. It may take her a bit longer. She hasn’t gotten her closure yet. She can continue to open the door for her ex and fight with him. She can can continue to push you away. Do I think she may have feelings for you? Yes, in a way, but she is 100% not ready for it.

Lay low. Do not contact her until she contacts you. Move forward with YOUR life. If she contacts you, move forward with her. Put the ball in her court, and quit relying on yourself to change things. Accept that things are the way they are. Acceptance is key to moving forward with your life. Just let it be. It will work out for you, I promise!

El

Dear Serendipityj:

She is troubled by her relationship with her ex and she needs to talk to someone. Knowing you are interested in her feels good to her. It feels good to be wanted, so she feels good about you wanting her. So she knows her messages to you will be happily accepted, not ignored. She knows she is communicating with someone very interested in what she has to say. This is what may be happening.

anita

Dear Serendipityj:

Maybe I misunderstood before..are you asking why she pushed you away, why she told you that she needs space?

You wrote above that she has a screaming and yelling toxic interactions with her ex and that she was calm with you. And she chose interacting with him over interacting with you. This means she chose.. screaming, yelling and toxicity over calm, doesn’t it? Maybe she pushed you away because she prefers the excitement of screaming and yelling, maybe.

I personally prefer calm. And you?

anita

Hi 🙂

I have many theories but the one that is prevailing is this:

She may also really like the idea of being with you, but knows if she does anything before she moves past her ex, it will end badly, and destroy any chance the two of you might actually have. It is never good to start something new before you are finished with something from the past. If she started something with you now, there is a high chance she would be an emotional wreck, and some sort of trust issues would likely develop. I dont think she wants you out of her life, but I do think she realizes the timing is wrong for a new relationship.

So, like everyone else is saying, I believe you should go about your life. This doesnt mean treat her differently or give up on her, but maybe just date other people if youre in a place where that interests you. Dont put all of your hopes in one basket waiting for her to come to you. Instead, recognize that When she is at a more stable time in her life, and if you happen to be single, the two of you could have something beautiful, but for the time being, you have a life to live!

As I believe someone earlier said: if it is meant to happen, it will 🙂