i am trying to figure this out also. I have just come to realize how much of my life i have spent waiting on the approval of someone else and it never comes and that, in itself can make me feel more alone. How and why did I get in this situation and why now am I coming to see this? As they say better late than never and maybe one does not need to see how it started but how to stop it. I am searching and maybe we can help each other to see a pattern and stop the behavior. My name is Connie, and maybe we can make a new start.
I am curious, what is a specific example of something you’ve done that you would like approval on? and what would those words sound like coming from the person you would like approval from?
recently i was worried something was wrong with my lungs so worried i felt paralyzed. my counselor put two chairs in a room and had me sit in one, and then i had to get up and sit in the other and pretend to be my lungs.
that conversation was very interesting i must say. I am 23 and this was a new concept to me. .. So If you could imagine that conversation for me and type it here, I would really like to try and help you.
I have not really had parents to be proud of me for getting good grades, being nice to others, accomplishing goals or getting a job. I do know how good it feels to reach a goal that I’ve worked hard for. or to give a compliment to someone else. Sometimes if i do to others long enough what i hope others do to me.. sometimes it comes to fruition, but many times it doesnt because i feel many people that I am not close with are very consumed by their lives as well and do not see that I need something from them.
something else that helps me is to remind myself.. that I am inside a giant bubble (ozone), floating on a rock in space . I feel small but I also feel the same size as all other humans inside the bubble. so we are all equals in that moment of visualization for me.