I recently had an argument with my boyfriend (he is not physically, verbally, or emotionally abusive), when he gets really frustrated or annoyed he gets really mad. He was really hurtful. but he saw his mistake, apologized and we made up.
Usually after an argument, I have to kinda reset myself, in a way. It feels like after an argument nothing is fully settled until I get alone time with him. Things feel different until then. Kisses feel different, I feel dried out, but until things get back the way they were I feel fine again
Is this normal? or am I pushing something that shouldn't be pushed?
Is there any way the both of you can try to talk to each other before it turns out to be a fight? Is there a way to improve your and his communication and coping skills, so you are not always arguing? Perhaps with a trained therapist or couples counseling. I think it is all mostly due to a lack of good communication skills and the both of you are reacting, instead of using “I feel” statements.
You mentioned he is not verbally abusive, yet when you argue, you feel hurt. So something the must have brought up caused you to feel this way? Would you care to share what is starting the fighting? Do you think it is stress related? His job? If so..how long has this been going on? Have you both just tried to sit down and use “I feel” statements, instead of criticizing which can lead to the arguing?