Home→Forums→Relationships→Best way to deal with Pressure?
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by
Matty.
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March 5, 2016 at 2:18 pm #98106
PathOfPeace
ParticipantHello Everyone. Kinda funny because I figured when I became an adult being pressured wouldnt belong in my life. And Ive been an adult for over 10 years now. Anyways, long story short. Me and the Wife are trying to get pregnant. Along with the stress of not having luck after a year so far the pressure keeps coming from my mother asking when kids will show up. Writting this out kinda sounds funny but for the past 5 years I have been hearing this over and over along with questioning what I do and when I choose to do it. Im getting to the point where I get angry and lose control of my emotions when I get questioned. I have tried to be peaceful but it doesnt seem to work out. How can I keep people from trying to get into my personal life and let me handle my own?
Im to the point of just saying I wont talk at all about the family Im trying hard to get together. I understand my mother is excited about being a grandmother but its to the point to where its causing conflict. I have heard of this happening to other people. Have you had this happen? How did you handle it? Am I just being over the top and need to lighten up?
March 5, 2016 at 8:13 pm #98122Anonymous
GuestDear PathOfPeace:
I don’t like women pressuring their adult children to get pregnant. She has no right for a grandchild. And it is none of her business if you choose to have a child or not. If I was you I would tell her just that and since i would be irked, annoyed, irritated and otherwise displeased by such pressure, I would also tell her just that, that it irks, annoys etc… you.
anita
March 8, 2016 at 11:24 pm #98418Matty
ParticipantPathofpeace,
Making babies isn’t exactly an easy science, especially nowadays with our societies, environments, lifestyles etc. Of course your mother is looking forward to being a grandmother, it probably has more to do with the fact that she currently feels like she could be achieving more, so naturally raising children would be where she can exert her effort. However, its your choice, or not so much that you can control your wife getting pregnant, but you can certainly keep having a crack and stacking the odds in your favor.
Also, your mother probably has more an old school idea (just assuming) about what a ‘family’ constitutes. However, the past is not the present and as such times have changed. It has always been hard to have children and raise them, but the world was never this uncertain. We have news at our finger tips, we know more now than ever before.
How can I keep people from trying to get into my personal life and let me handle my own?
Basically, deflect such questions as best as you can. Chock it down to the fact that other people want the best for you, and thus want you to have a child because apparently you will be happier. You will conform to the already established order of things. If you have to, make your opinion known, tell people what you really think. No need to be aggressive about it. If they continue to bring it up, then just don’t answer them.
hope this helps
Sincerely,
Matty -
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