Hi Sandy,

Please know that I am sending my thoughts with much love with the hope that you find comfort in my words and consider them to be helpful to you.

I must comment on what you said about “your anxiety got to an all time high  (which was likely my intuition)…” Here is my experience on intuition and please know that it is my experience. When I have gone against my intuition, whether  it be 1%, 50% or 100%, 100% of the time I have paid the price. Also, between men and women, size does matter. Before you assume anything please consider this. There is a part of the human brain called the corpus callosum. It is a region of the brain that connects the right hemisphere with the left. The difference in between the brain of men and women are many. But for the purpose of answering your question I will mention briefly about the different in size and observations of that difference. The corpus callous in women is larger than that of men, thus the size comment. There are many studies done on this difference, the literature is extensive, and there exists an overwhelming agreement among those in the biology/neurology/psychology field etc, that the intuition in women is attributed to a larger connection between the right hemisphere and the left hemisphere of the brain within the corpus callosum. So when you say it’s a woman’s intuition, believe it to be real. I do. It has saved my butt many times.

There is a question about something you said…”One thing, however, was that a few months earlier he had gotten out of a very long relationship with an ex-girlfriend who had apparently cheated on him more than once.” I must ask this and please know it is not meant to doubt what you say. How do you know that in fact she did cheat on him? What was it that made it apparent? I ask this because there is a tendency of the cheater to gain pity by stating he/she was the one who cheated. If she did cheat why would he have  “seen his ex-girlfriend on the weekend?” Things just do not add up. For him to say, ” best of luck.” and when he continued to text and say “he felt a close connection but wanted all the best for me if he never saw me again.” to me has a dismissive tone to it. Maybe that word (dismissive) is a little too strong. You have some questions that are very legitimate, such as, “will he go back to her? Will it last? Will I ever see him again? Does he know how much he hurt me?”

Perhaps those questions will not be answered honestly. Will he go back to her? Maybe, maybe not. But that question has the potential to linger in the back of your mind should you become committed to a relationship with him. When you asked, “Will it last?” I don’t want to assume anything here so I must ask for clarification. When you asked if it will last, do you mean that it, the relationship, between her and him, or between both of you? If you mean to ask if it will last for both of them should they get back together, don’t wait around for your knight in shining armor with the hope that you can pursue a relationship should that one fail.   If you meant to ask if it (the relationship) would last for you, the weekend excursion he had with her, again, potentially will linger in the back of your mind causing stress, doubt, etc. Will you see him again? There exists the possibility for you to see him again, assuming you both live in close proximity in the same town. Should this happen, and you see him obviously attached with someone else, (holding hands etc) it would give you strength, I think, to wish them well, as hard as that may be. Maybe think in terms of, wow, two people found each other and they are happy. This gives you liberation knowing that you can open your heart to discovering a person that you truly want to be with. Does he know how much he hurt you? If he did, how would you think differently, assuming you did? Sometimes when a person does not know how badly they hurt someone, sometimes this hurt has not been conveyed in such a way that it would make them stop to think. Sometimes not knowing how badly someone hurt another shows just how disconnected they are to the one they hurt. And there are many other reasons too.

I think that you perhaps  “can’t seem to move forward” because the event is still new, fresh in your mind. Aside from being insensate, which I seriously doubt that you are, the feeling of being stalled out in a tailspin is a perfectly normal reaction.

We can all get philosophical and offer advice to you with the risk of adding confusion in your pursuit of answers. I have been hurt profoundly in the past, as many of us have. I too found myself seeking out answers that help me decide what to do, even to the point of thinking, will somebody please make up my mind for me as to what I should do. But I took all the advice I have been given, tossed out the knee jerk reactions, embraced some answers that I found hope in, and even combined the ones that seemed promising with what I thought was best for me to do. In the end, it was I who decided what is best for me and moved on only to discover that decision to move on proved to be invaluable to me, as difficult as it sometimes was.

For now I would like to offer that you set this relationship aside, such as it is, in a way that you think in terms of moving on. Go to a special private place that you feel safe to be in, a park, the beach, the lake, the mountain, wherever, and give it some serious thought. Be with your higher self, your spirit Sandy. Reconnect with who you are and think about what you deserve, that being so very happy and loved. It is the very least you deserve.

Sending you peace and love,

Pearce