Hi. A couple of days ago I (31f) broke up with my partner (29m) of six months, and I just feel very alone now.

As with all relationships, things seemed to be fine on the surface for the initial honeymoon stage. He was attentive, and seemed thrilled to be with me. As a Greek living in London, he seemed to be well-settled in his life and job. However, over the summer it became apparent that he had commitment issues. He said that he disliked saying ‘I love you,’ as in his experience, it meant women would come to expect things of him. When I (obviously) questioned this, he dismissed it as being a cultural difference. However, over the course of the relationship, he asked me several times if I loved him. He has said it on occasion, but it never felt natural. I continued despite my misgivings.

Semantics aside, he would often speak of living together. Over time, he spoke of this less frequently.

Recently, I asked if he’d like to meet my mum for a coffee. He said he did not feel ready. At this point, we had been together for five months. He said he would only do this if he knew he was going to marry someone. To me, this is ridiculous. I am best friends with my mum, and it is natural to want to include your significant other in each others’ lives. Again, this was chalked up to cultural differences.
I was jobhunting during most of the relationship, which strained things further. However, I made enough from my freelance work to cover going out, basic needs, and so on. I do not believe in someone paying for me, but he made it very clear that because of my finances, we could not travel together. He then booked a holiday in Greece for 10 days to see family and go to an island with his friend. What upset me about this was how separately he saw our lives. When I expressed how sad it was that I could not really afford to go anywhere, he expressed sympathy and left for his holiday.

When I excitedly mentioned Christmas, he said that he usually goes home for the Christmas period. The idea of spending the entire festive period alone upsets me – it’s an important time, and I dearly wanted to spend some of the Christmas period with my significant other. He said that he understood. It upset me that he did not have the same ideals, and that he was happy to just leave me be while he did his own thing.

This guy also says he does not want to stay in England, and wants to live in America. I have said that I am not in a position to just relocate, as my new job, elderly mother, and responsibilities are here. He told me that as he is not sure of what he wants, it is unfair on me, when I know I want to be in a committed relationship with a future.

Yesterday, I finally decided that yes, I do deserve someone who wants the same things as me. However, there was no reason initially to believe that he did not want these things. We had a confrontation of sorts, and he said he had commitment issues. He had wanted someone who would want the same things as him. However, I find it deeply unrealistic to meet someone in the UK, and hope they will move to the US with absolutely no plan of action. It would be very difficult for me to relocate and find a job in the US independently. I also don’t think a committed relationship and a desire to move abroad are mutually exclusive ideals. It all just seems like I was meant to fill a void.

As time went by, he slowly revealed more of himself, and how our goals were not aligned. I feel heartbroken, and terribly sad.
Right now, I feel like I’ve given up on relationships forever. It seems everyone around me has found a person who loves them, and it’s very hard to stay upbeat. I attended a friend’s wedding recently (without him, as he did not want to come), and cried on the way home.
I feel like a relationship is meant to be easy, with none of the grey area nonsense that I have experienced over the past 6 months. My ideal partner would be a best friend, and I would not be constantly puzzling over self-created problems. Has this become impossible to find? I’m so deeply unhappy now, and feel like the connection I want is unattainable.

tl;dr: Ended a relationship because of commitment issues, and now scared I will never find a partner with the same ideals as me.