Anita. You are so very bright. I consider myself to be quite insightful however it’s not always easy to see things objectively as you do. I enjoy your comments.

Ok….ypu are so very right!! Funny as I didn’t even see it from the angle you didid. My superego is my mothrr…..sigh….as a child I never understood nor liked how she never seemed to believe in herself, often she would put herself down and she always projected scarcity and fear. I so needed encouragement and support and she, always seemed perplexed by my “issues.” I recall having a terrible panic attack at age q2. Fearing I was dying (as literally I was on inskde), it came to her to consult me and make me feel beyter. I asked her what’s wrong with me, am I ok? She was like, I don’t know…..with this look of terror and annoyance on her face. I thought, am I living in the twilight zone? Do I have to parent my own mother?! Well, yes I did. She confided in me about her awful marriage and always turned me against my dad. Then, she would betray me by aligning with him. It was all very weird. But I always knew tjat I needed tjat positivity she lacked.

It’s difficult growing up into adulthood not knowing a damn things about life. I’ve had to learn to parent myself, figure out what my needs were..once I realized that I had those as well. For the last 15yrs my lkfe has been a journey backwards into the past, sifting out the chaos and healing from the pain. I finally feel like I’ve made peace with it all.

I don’t believe in past lives or several lives…once to live once to die..i read an article once where it was said tjat we come into this world and choose pur parents and yada yada…..i thought, yeah, and how do you know this? Anyways, I ponder sometimes why would we choose the awful things? I look at my childhood and my.parents and tbink, ok,…did I sleep in and miss this class? It’s a randomized test, where you fill in bubbkes. “A” wonderful childhood. “B” find the silver lining, it’s going yo suck…”c” ever been a 5yr old parent? Emotional abandonment lovers tbis is for you, lots of therapy here, or “d” for those advanced souls who need to dumb it down a bit so you can relate to the ignorant…why?…looks good on resume.

It does make me.laugh when people say before you were born you choose, etc…like how the hell do you know tjat?

Anita…..how old are you if I may ask and how long have you been on this site? I’ve been on beforr….in the past and I’m amazed tjat you are such an integral part of these forums.