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Cant accept it's over.

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  • May 10, 2015 at 12:17 pm #76540
    Darren
    Participant

    I recently split with my girlfriend of 4 years whom I thought was my soul mate. It all happened very fast and she was cheating on me with someone I knew.

    As much as I am trying to move on in my head I just cant accept its over.

    I’ve had no contact for 2 weeks, I have thrown away everything that reminds me of her, I’ve moved 300 miles away, yet she is in my dreams, still breaking my heart.

    I just cant seem to snap out of this, to add to it my mother is starting her chemotherapy soon and yet I seem to selfishly care more about my relationship which is making me feel worse.

    🙁

    May 10, 2015 at 2:26 pm #76543
    Alexa
    Participant

    The thing is your not being selfish you just relied on that person emotionally so now that your going through a tough time with your mother you have that need for that person who spent so much time on!
    There is no right way to grieve for a relationship!
    My partners ex took his child from him she had an affair in his house he bought them and then told the court he’d been hitting her for years,
    I met him fours months after this.
    Long road I assure you!

    See it like this, you’ve been close with the same person for four years shared hopes and dreams, talked about creating a new life one day no doubt! You can’t expect a quick recovery it’s impossible! But you do need closure!
    Did you ask all the questions you needed to ask? Get everything off your chest?
    It’s a work in progress and heartache is ever so painful! You need to remember why you told her to go and you did it for the right reason!
    Be strong , get your answers and remember what ur feeling is normal

    May 11, 2015 at 1:42 am #76578
    Will
    Participant

    Don’t expect yourself to snap out of it. Don’t be angry with yourself for being upset. Don’t bully yourself for not having the appropriate emotions vis a vis your mother’s chemo and your broken heart. Emotions don’t follow rational rules.

    Think of emotional you as a small child. It doesn’t know what’s appropriate or how it ought to feel about this or that. It doesn’t know what it needs. It just knows it’s in pain, so it’s screaming its head off. You wouldn’t yell at a small child for being in pain. You’d comfort it. You’d give it time. You’d give it love. You’d hold it as it wailed away.

    Try doing that for the hurt part of your heart.

    May 11, 2015 at 11:34 am #76604
    Darren
    Participant

    Thank-you both for your very kind words.

    I have been trying something new today and that involves pushing all of the thoughts out of my head into a ball which is at chest level.

    Sounds silly, but its really been working.

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