Hi Anita. How was your day? Thank you for sharing your experience at Disneyland. I was not deployed at the time so when you were enjoying your magical 3 days, I was only 25 miles away living in Laguna Hills. That will be 30 years ago in September. Wow!! I went to Disneyland only once but have been to Disneyworld in Orlando 4 or 5 times. Disney is another thing that brings out the inner child in me. I also love to watch figure skating so I go to see Disney on Ice whenever it comes to town.
I have so much more to say but I better finish it tomorrow. I am getting sleepy and can’t get my thoughts together. I’ll be off work for the next 3 days so I’ll be a lot more rested and have plenty of time. My email is email@example.com I’m glad you wanted my email address. It made me feel special. Until tomorrow….
Good morning Anita. Its a beautiful morning here in VA as I have the back door open listening to several birds singing. So quiet and peaceful right now and I wonder what the morning is like where you are.
I am so sorry that you still get the feelings of shame so often. Dozens of times a day you said. When I was going through my worst times, which was my late teens, I had almost constant feelings of shame and disgust with myself. The only breaks from this would be during my exercise period when I could clear my mind and then in the evening, watching tons of TV. Although I felt out of place in the military, it did help me a great deal with building some self confidence and self esteem. My sense of shame was not as intense because I felt I was doing something for others. Maybe I wasn’t such a bad person after all. The shame bug doesn’t hit me as much anymore as I have been healing. Your are right though; its never going to be totally gone so its better to accept that fact. Expecting to feel good 100% of the time is just going to lead to disappointment. Learning how to accept it and react with more self compassion when it does come back is the key. At least thats what I getting from the mindfullness book.
Well I’m going to head out on a bike ride right now before it gets too hot. I look forward to the next letter from my best girlfriend. Hope you have a wonderful day.
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