Hi Heartbrokengurl,

I hear how lonely you are, and how you miss your ex. When I’ve been in that situation, that feeling of loneliness was often accompanied by the thought that it would never end, that I’d never find anyone better, etc.

The fact that you have been trying to date suggests that you actually are moving on. What hasn’t changed (enough), though, is the pain that you’re feeling. Some of that will ease with time. A lot of it, I think, will dissipate when you meet someone who looks into your eyes, and smiles, and sees and enjoys you. He will come along. You’re already doing your best, and give yourself a hug for that. Hang in there.

Craig

I am also in the same place – it’s been three months and I still think about him constantly even though we don’t speak or have any contact. I ran into him unexpectedly last weekend and I had a huge panic attack. Some things you can do that might help ease the pain:

– Write him an “unsent letter”. Get everything down on paper as if you are speaking to him. Be brutally honest. But then destroy the letter instead of sending it to him.

– Meditate! That really is the answer to pretty much all emotional turmoil.

– Maybe stop dating for awhile – just a month or two. If you’re really not over your ex then you’re just going to compare all guys you meet to him, and it’s not really fair to the men if you’re pursuing a relationship with them that you’re not ready for. Not dating also gives you time to connect with yourself and rediscover some interests and hobbies that you may have been neglecting.

– Exercise and focus on your health. Not only does it boost your mood and keep you busy, but it also makes you look better!

– Remember that your feelings are completely normal and valid. And as the others have said, you are absolutely not the only one who goes through this.

Hi,

I went through an extremely painful break up a year and a half ago. I was with my ex for 7 years and was devastated when he told me he didn’t want to be with him me anymore. I think the most helpful thing i did was cut of all contact, that really helped me focus on myself without the anxiety of wondering whether he would contact me or not. I blocked his number and deleted all social media. I felt the pain and sat with my feelings for a long time. I also meditated, chanted, prayed and spent time in nature to help me heal. I think its important to focus on you and try to be realistic and remember that there were bad times as well. As for dating, its important to take your time and not rush into anything right away. Dating someone else, when you haven’t healed completely will not end up well.  Sending you love and i promise that it will get easier and you will heal!! Focus on being the best version of you and when you’re ready you can attract your equal!

I can understand how your feeling completely!. I was the same i was indeed angry and still am a little with my ex moving onto another guy so quickly and even now im seeing someone and it still feels rushed and wrong. Ignorance is bliss in this circumstance and it does help alot!. Seeing my ex dating others killed me until i got rid of the possibility of even stalking her social media so you have done the right thing in my opinion there. It is lonely and even with friends and family you can feel alone. I still do at times. But it dulls over time. Even now i find the thought of my ex creeps back but less frequently. Its taken me alot of energy healing myself slowly. Hope you feel better soon!.