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Cant seem to forget about her

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #59501
    Nigel
    Participant

    It has been 6 months since we broke up. Till this day I can’t seem to get her off my mind, even though we have only been in a relationship for 10 months. Along the course of our relationship, there were ups and downs. Even so, I really cherish the relationship and always wanted only to make her happy and see her smile. However so, I have to admit along the way I got a little comfortable and took things a little for granted. Also, I have to admit that jealousy got the better of me, as I was not too keen when her exes constantly contact her even tho her friends telling me that that is how friendly she was. We broke up right before she left last year for the States (the time difference between us is 13 hour) to further her studies. I dont blame her for all that has happened as it was my own doing which has led the relationship to an end. I choose not keep in contact with her even though she contacted me twice within the 6 months period. I choose not to keep in contact. In recent times, for some particular reason the thought of her keeps on popping up and I really miss her. In so many ways I really wanted to try rekindling the romance but at the same time I wanted closure for this chapter of my life and move on. Please advise

    #59507
    himanshu
    Participant

    I know when people say u will be okay it is very easy for them but not for the person who suffer . i m really disappoint with my life daily i feel to kill maself and i have tried many times..but after thinking my family my tears not stop.. i loved a girl so much and from starting i was very happy to help others and my life was very good but after i love that girl i starting to loose myself. I m very loyal to her and i always take care of everyone even i think someone not got hurt just beacuse of me . I lost my job for her to get better future after I start prepartion for government exam and she moved to new place after she got new friend new circle she start ignoring me and in last she said I was nothing to her.. i cant stop myself to cry i ask to forgive me on my knee in the main market in front of everyone and i lost my everything because of her my life my friends my job everything . everyday i see herself happy with new new friends .and i feel to kill myself and even i try but after thinking of my family my tears not stop ..i have not did bad for anyone why god choose me why ??? i lost my confidence to live , this site is very good i daily read it really give me strength to sometime .and every person here are very good bless u everyone .. anyone can not feel my pain i not like the other boys who flirting with many girls at the same time i was very loyal to her . and i m very emotional person i know everyone say everything will be ok . but i now it is not that easy that everyone think… RIP my life

    #59555
    Rachel
    Participant

    For both of you to come out of your suffering about the past I would recommend following the path to loving yourself. Even if you pushed the other away. it will be challenging at first because you have to undo all the effects of negative thinking but you are worth so much more than what that person was not willing to give you. Our relationships are our mirror to ourselves and what you feel is missing now is something that you are not giving yourself. You both deserve so much better and deserve to smile and be happy. Ending your life will not solve the issue at hand. And those that do love you will miss you. I recommend the work of Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham) and Louise Hay as a starting place. I’ve been there. Please take care.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Rachel.
    #59916
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have to say that it’s been almost a year to the day that my first-love ended things with me. I noticed you’re at 6 months post-breakup for a relationship that lasted 10 months, which is a big deal. Let me tell you, that year or at least 3/4 of a year it took for me to finally be fine with seeing her happy, seeing her with her new bf and not wanting to destroy him, and letting go the pain of her treating me so callously, was what it took for just a two-month relationship. Two months and it took me a year. Everyone’s different but I do think you’re getting better. You stopped contacting her, which means you were at least a lot more self-aware than me. Stopping communication is essential if you just can’t stop thinking about that person and want to try fix something that the other person has given up on completely. My advice is to keep soldiering on and not look back and I say that because it happened to me in the last few weeks. I had this urge to contact her and say hi and catch up on things. But I realise now it would’ve only exhumed all the hurt I’ve tried so hard (and successfully) to bury over the past year. The only thing that makes thinking about the past bearable is when you’re in a new, more secure, more caring, and more loving relationship. Then you can look back on the past and see more good than bad and perhaps you’ll even smile. Don’t force this until you’re ready. Please look after your heart, it’ll beat again, it’ll love again and even stronger and more certain than it has in the past. Love is an amazing thing.

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