Dear foryou:

My input regarding you starting your first official relationship:

1. You wrote that you are “too nice and emotional, will basically do a lot to please a woman”- do just one thing to please a particular woman and wait to see how she reacts before you do another nice thing for her. Check to see if she likes what you did, if she shows appreciation. Then do another nice thing for her; then wait and see if she does something nice for you.

2. You wrote: “Mostly I get too attached to the person, complimenting them so much, focusing on the person, while forgetting my needs and wants.” – pace yourself. A compliment here and there, not too many. Don’t act like she is a goddess and you are a nobody! Ask her questions about her life, listen attentively, get to know her. I hope she asks about your life and gets to know you. If she sees you listening to her, that will be more impressive than complimenting. Be ASSERTIVE with her and encourage her to be assertive with you.

3. You wrote: “I express my emotions easily, to friends, but when it comes to expressing emotions to a girl I have feelings for, I just can’t do it.” Make yourself visible to the girl by sharing your feelings. If you only compliment her and try to please her while not telling her about yourself, your thoughts, feelings, then it is like she is the only person that matters and you do not matter. For the successful relationship you are seeking the two of you need to matter. So do share with her.

anita

Hi Samuel,

First things first, you’re still young and in the prime of your life. This is not the time to find a girl to settle down with, this is the time to discover who you are and enjoy making friends. Don’t freak because you’re not in a relationship right now.

That being said, there is a lot to be said for treating a girl you like with respect and showing her in ways that other men don’t, but you DO have to ask her out. That loser she’s dating now had the balls to do that. Probably because he didn’t give a shit if she said yes or not because he’s got 3 others lined up if she said no. You’re not like that, so you know you are the best choice she has, but she can’t choose you if you don’t ask!!!

Practice asking a girl out that you kind of like but aren’t dying to date. The more times you practice this when the right woman comes along you’ll be ready. How do you think champions win? Because they PRACTICE!!!!

You’re a sweetie, don’t ever lose that, but you gotta build an edge. You’re a man. Remember that and go get her Tiger!

Jessy