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Casual Dating a year?

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  • June 8, 2015 at 9:03 am #77868
    Scarlet
    Participant

    I’ve been dating this guy for a year now. We get along great, and we’re spending lots of time together– 3-5 days a week! However, I know he’s been out with other women on occasion and he’s a huge flirt. I don’t feel like he’s very passionate with me, he never compliments me or says romantic things (and i’ve seen emails where he is being affectionate to other women). We did wait 9 months to sleep together, he got a women pregnant after only seeing her a month so I think he’s being overly cautious. But now it feels like we’re just mostly friends. How can I up the passion? I was thinking of having the old “Where is this going?” conversation with him, but I know he’s not ready for any type of commitment. How can I approach this without scaring him off?

    June 8, 2015 at 10:02 am #77881
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear glazedscarlet:
    I don’t think it is too early for the “where is this going?” conversation. It actually may be too late. better having had it way ealier- the two of you talking about goals and relationship goals specifically, discussing past relationships maybe so you can figure out where he is at BEFORE getting intimately involved with him.

    I would suggest having the conversation of his goals about relationships in general and the one he is having with you. You can make it a conversation where you retain your self respect, not sounding and hopefully not feeling desperate, needy and nagging. make it informational, mature, just-for-information conversationg (and feel the feelings about it later when alone, if it is not going to be what you are hoping).
    anita

    June 8, 2015 at 11:36 am #77885
    Scarlet
    Participant

    Thanks Anita, that makes me feel better. Its hard to approach the subject but I guess its time! I just need to keep it light.

    June 9, 2015 at 6:54 am #77921
    pink24
    Participant

    Hi Glazedscarlet,

    Are you looking for love? If you are, then, while hanging out with this guy seems great, it may not be exactly what you’re looking for. He doesn’t say passionate things? Or is romantic in any way? The beginning of any relationship is all about the passion and the romance, and if you guys don’t have that now, maybe it’s best to be open to it elsewhere. Guys tend to get comfortable, and it’s very difficult to get them out of that.

    I say be open to other men. Every girl wants a guy who makes them feel special. And if this guy isn’t, plus he’s making other women feel special, then dump him! You deserve better 🙂

    Pink

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