I’m so sorry to hear about what you and your wife have been going through. I know from experience how tough therapy can be at times; it certainly brings up a lot of emotions. It sounds like the problem isn’t just about getting rid of jealousy, since she actually gave you a reason to be jealous in having an emotional affair. Has she told you why she had it? Do you feel you’re both making progress in counseling? I suspect it will be easier to let go of these feelings if you could feel some sense that things are improving between the two of you–that you’re not going to be permanently stuck in this limbo-like place.